this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Good, no one needs to go to jail unless someone's hurt

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And not just their feelings

[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But can you legally marry multiple people

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

I hadn't seen any Marx Bros in so long, I was thinking of a different Captain Spaulding and was wondering why I don't remember this quote. lol

[–] [email protected] 182 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You used to have to prove adultery in order to get a divorce in New York state.

Family story time! My great-grandparents wanted to get divorced and were in New York, so my grandfather lay in a bed next to his mother-in-law under the covers and my grandmother took a photo to present to the courts. My great-grandmother apparently never even took off her coat.

[–] [email protected] 88 points 3 days ago

That's hilarious and somehow wholesome that everyone pitched in to get the separation

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 days ago (34 children)

Great now make it so if you cheat you lose the ability to get alimony.

And an open relationship is different then cheating.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes absolutely this. Cheating should not be a crime you go to jail for.
But it should have consequences. I think a good way to go is a law that unless there is a prenup that specifically deals with cheating, and unless it was an agreed to open relationship or there was otherwise permission to cheat, a cheater is ineligible for alimony and must be considered morally suspect for the question of child custody.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Consider the following (IMO common) scenario: One spouse is abusive and does not care about the children. Maybe it’s a malignant narcissist and their family is like property for them.

The other spouse cares about the children and may be the only one doing any real parenting. Also they suffer the loveless, abusive marriage. At some point they meet someone that cares for them and somehow that leads to cheating before they can escape the marriage.

In this scenario the children should stay with the cheater and the alimony should not be depending on who cheated. (Both IMO of course).

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

In that scenario, the spouse doing the parenting who isn't a narcissist should divorce the narcissist. Or keep their pants on until the divorce happens.

'somehow that leads to cheating' No it does not 'somehow' lead to anything.

Either the person is in control of their actions, in which case they should have the self-control to postpone sex at least until divorce process begins, or they are not in control of their actions and are helpless to prevent themselves from sleeping with the other person, in which case they are not the paragon of virtue you paint them to be. They may well be a better parent than the narcissist, which is why I don't say custody should be automatic. I am only saying that infidelity should be strongly considered in custody decisions.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

At some point they meet someone that cares for them and somehow that leads to cheating before they can escape the marriage.

If you can't keep it in your pants for the sake of your kids I don't feel bad for you. You're not gonna die from not fucking. Jesus christ lol

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Honestly, I think it’s high time we ditch old marriage laws in favor of much more individualized marriage contracts that are settled in civil court if they’re dissolved. Modern marriages are much more complex than traditional ones and our antiquated laws don’t deal with them well. We’d have to update laws/policies about hospital visiting, medical decisions, inheritance, etc, as well, but I think it would be worth it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I was in favor of individual contracts for most of my life.

But there's an issue - with individual contracts there's a greater degree of uncertainty every time someone goes to court over them.

It's the same as with individual contracts in other areas. Say, labor.

Power balance matters.

So - ideally yes, but in our real world with our real legal and enforcement systems - we may not be able to. Same as with labor, again.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

So reading a 200+ page EULA before saying I do, got it.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fuck me finally. It was a the only thing keeping me a chronic virgin.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Talking like a the famous plumber doesn't help either

[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 days ago

Woot to all the people that were horny but it was the legal system stopping them from cheating on their spouse.

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