this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
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Urinals should not exist. (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 132 points 6 days ago (8 children)

My trick for dealing with "blushing bladder" is a Palovian response on myself. I realized I had certain pee triggers. Long story short, there are certain places and situations that cause me to need to urinate. So I figured why not use a word as a trigger? While at home I began saying the trigger word just as I felt the flow begin. Every time I pee, I say the word. My blushing bladder went away. Some of the music venues i frequent have urinals literally elbow to elbow so it's awkward but there's no trouble when I say the trigger word. The only problem now is people look at me weird when I'm looking at my dick saying "shazam".

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago

I do the same type of thing, but I just swish saliva around in my mouth. For some reason that gets my mind off it and next thing I know, I'm peeing.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 6 days ago (13 children)

Urinals should definitely exist because they speed things up a ton. If you're too shy to piss into a urinal just go to the shitter instead. But don't dare try to take the speed and convenience away from the rest of us, goddammit!

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[–] [email protected] 92 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Count the number of tiles in front of you, solve some math problems in your head, think about what to do next saturda- shit, some guy just moved next to me. Is he looking? Maybe I should pull out my phone and check lemmy. ...but then people will think I'm recording them piss, and the fact that I'm still not pissing will further justify their suspicions. Maybe I should just pretend to have a small coughing fit and that's why I can't pee. But then people will start looking, and maybe even worry I'll spray them accidentally. Oh the guy finished peeing. I'll just wait until he leaves the room then. Oh another guy just entered. Well, he doesn't know anything so I'll just pretend I finished peeing and hold it in for the rest of the day.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Look at the tiles and imagine the grout lines are an infinite grid of 1 ohm resistors. I wonder what the resistance is between two points a knight's move apart...dammit I've been standing here for hours again

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 6 days ago (15 children)

This cartoon can't exist. Urinal etiquette requires:

That you should have one empty urinal between you and the next guy if at all possible. And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.

And that you look straight ahead and never look to either side of you. You must stare solely at the wall straight ahead of you. Thoughtful establishments hang pictures or current sales flyers at eye level to look at while peeing.

And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there. So there is absolutely no way this cartoon can happen in the real world.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago (2 children)

if at all possible

I hate that I'm arguing the reality of a comic world, but we can't see the rest of the wall. We don't know if there's 2/3 urinals total, making it impossible to leave a buffer urinal between them.

Also, without considering it a "rule" I leave an empty urinal between as well, but I don't go as far as resorting to using a stall if I only have to pee. That's just silly...

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (9 children)

You're kidding yourself. The norm in American bars is to have two urinals whose porcelain touches, and everyone pees with their buddy while having a boisterous chat.

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Well. This comic certainly isn't making it easier.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Why are you reading comics at the urinal while you're trying to pee?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It helps me relax. Usually.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 days ago (10 children)

The movie 'Waiting' has a character whose entire arc is them trying to get over urinal anxiety while working one crazy shift at an Applebee's clone.

Early Ryan Reynolds. Some of the humor hasn't aged well, but it shines a light on the service industry for those that haven't worked in a kitchen/bar/restaurant.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I lived in a house once that had a urinal and it was the best thing ever, especially for the first pee of the day. Normalize home urinals!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 6 days ago (5 children)

All houses have at least one urinal. The cool thing is, you're also able to wash your hands in it afterwards!

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Use a urinal while wearing shorts and you'll change your opinion. I avoid them as much as I can preferring to sit, but sometimes that option is worse than the urinal..

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Well, it doesn't work so well with morning wood, but at all other times I aim toward the bottom so the pee's hitting the back wall at less than about a 30° angle. I guess compared to sitting there's gonna be more splash back, but even with shorts I don't really notice anything. I'm sure it'd be different if you power blast the wall or base at 90°.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 days ago (7 children)

I sometimes think that maybe as a society we'd be better off relaxing nudity taboos or something.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I dunno even pets like dogs have to make eye contact with their owner while shitting to feel comfortable and they know nothing of our puritanical ways.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

For me its the pressure of someone waiting to use it after me, especially when its a lot of people like a packed pub or break time at a show/live music/event etc.
The amount of times if have pretended to have finished, gone washed my hands a walk out only to wait 10mins to go try again...

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 days ago (7 children)

Why is this post full of people who are seemingly overtly defensive over the idea of urinals? Did I miss something? The comic is a joke. Every other poster here trying to make sure everyone knows they can and will always use a urinal. An ode of fragile masculinity.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Did I miss something?

Sounds like you missed the toilet OOOOOHHHHH

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I'm here trying to understand what's wrong with urinals lmao

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

This reply makes me feel defensive and outraged.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Just don't shake it more than twice while its in your hand and the police needn't be involved

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 days ago (4 children)

No matter how many times you shake it, the last drop will still end in your pants

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago

When I lived in Japan, I really appreciated how the women's public bathroom stalls often had this little button you could push to make a white noise sound.

So glad I got over that peeing in public anxiety eventually, though.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago (5 children)

More of a communal trough man myself

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I don't mind urinals. It just sucks when you have to double or triple up on them. Sharing with someone else just isn't fun

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago (2 children)

This hits me deep. I will often walk into a bathroom and walk right out if I see too many people. I'll either find a quieter bathroom or just hold it because it's physically impossible for me to pee if I can sense anybody within close proximity. Sadly, that applies to stalls too.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 days ago (4 children)

I don't understand why they don't just install partitions. One that goes from the very bottom to the very top. A thin plank would do it. Not these 50cm pseudo partitions. That's why I prefer to use a cabin when a lot of people are peeing.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (4 children)

You do know it's not a requirement to use the urinal, they also have private pee booths as well.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Us normal pissers also listen to the booths when we suspect a weener-holder.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

That's why I act like I'm pooping. I'll sit down and make grunt noises while aiming my piss at the side of the bowl so no one hears I'm actually peeing. Because that's less embarrassing than knowing you all think I'm too afraid to piss in front of you. I even pull toilet paper out and wipe it on my thigh so all you actual Weiner holders believe I'm wiping my ass. Who's the fool now? Not only was I too afraid to pee in front of you, I convinced you I was taking a manly shit while you probably nodded in approval at the other Weiner holders next to you. Check mate.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago (4 children)

The only evidence of the "grand gay conspiracy" people keep talking about is the existence of bath-tub (multi-user) urinals.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Legend has it that alpha males stand in front of each other when they pee, looking straight into each other's eyes and sometimes arm wrestling with their free hand.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Well...I have paruresis and it was a struggle when I used to go to nightclubs and use the urinals, for some reason there was always only one toilet and a bunch of urinals, so I had to get drunk fast to be able to use the urinals like a normal guy. Most of the time the bathroom door didn't have a lock, so I'm glad I never had to do number 2 there.

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