TechTakes

It’s a long read, but a good one (though not a nice one).

• learn about how all the people who actually make decisions in c++ world are complete assholes!
• liking go (the programming language) correlated with brain damage!
• in c++ world, it is ok to throw an arbitrary number of highly competent non-bros out of the window in order to keep a bro on board, even if said bro drugged and raped a minor!
• the c++ module system is like a gunshot wound to the ass!
• c++ leadership is delusional about memory safety!
• even more assholes!

Someone on mastodon (can’t remember who right now) joked that they were expecting the c++ committee to publicly support trump, in the hopes he would retract the usg memory safety requirements. I can now believe that they might have considered that, and are probably hoping he’ll come down in their favour now that he’s coming in.

Dan asked me “what’s the fastest Big O notation?” and hey, to my credit despite not having a college degree, I knew the answer from self studying! “Oh, I know this. O(1) Constant time”, I said over the phone. “No, see it’s O(0). The fastest program is the one that never runs. It’s clear you don’t have enough experience for this role. So let’s test you on your sysadmin capabilities. Maybe you can redeem yourself there”.

There is something about the simultaneous pedantry and total ignorance in this that is enraging. Everything is O(1) space because there are 10^81^ atoms in the universe, and everything is O(1) time because of the heat death of the universe, don'tcha know. Also did I just solve the halting problem?

Oh, is this something about memory safety and how people twist themselves into pretzels trying to justify using C++

opens article

Unfortunately, this post has mentions of rape and sexual assault.

Oh for fuck's sake, why is it always this

Of course, this brings up the title of this section. The C++ Alliance. Shortly after making a shitload of money from the massive rise of value in bitcoin in the late 10s, Vinnie Falco proceeded to purchase the C++ Slack under the name of this non-profit organization.

Wait a second, record scratch, stop, what on earth does "purchase the C++ Slack" mean? Since when are we trading Slacks? What's the value of a Slack? Can I buy someone's Slack? How many users do I have to get on my Slack before it's worth something on the open market? What the fuck does this mean???

I am about halfway through but it'd really help if someone could maybe do a TL;DR about the C++ features that are mentioned in this post.

Like what the fuck are profiles? Modules? C++ has modules? Half of my current job is in C++ and I have no idea what any of those things are. Which seems to be a common problem with C++, e.g. I've recently learnt that something for garbage collection used to exist, but it was scrapped and removed from the standard before I've first heard of it.

It's hard to understand the reddit comments linked without this context and the post itself is like an hour-long read.

EDIT: Okay I see profiles are explained in a section later, but modules are not? Also they're explained in opposition to "contracts" which I've also never heard of and jesus fucking christ, this language is a hellhole

EDIT2: I'll add operator . to the list of plot important characters that get no introduction if you're not familiar with the C++ Extended Universe

I had no idea so much of C++ and the Committee was so closely linked to the military industrial complex. Like people who design fucking murder drones just casually send their requests to them and they read them and care? And Bjarne Cplusplus, the inventor of C++, helped Lockheed Martin on the F22???

No, seriously, sorry, I cannot put myself into a hypothetical headspace where someone sending me a letter "hello, we need this feature to kill civillians better, thanks" isn't interpreted as a prank, since if it weren't then the only acceptable response would be to return a pipebomb to the sender.

Eepy Status*: about 20% of the way through. This is all I have to share so far:

Bjarne Stroustrup? More like, Blarney Should-Shut-Up.

*yes, short for epistemic status. Don’t like it? Good, mission accomplished.

Edit: Eepyness: 60% of the way through.

This is a masterclass in tea spilling. So many shots fired at fucking everything. I am in awe.

I know next to nothing about C++ but I do know that I heard that closing line in the original voice and got goosebumps.