Asklemmy

Especially in news headlines: slams, blasts, mind-blowing, hack (or lifehack)

I'm sure there are others, but that's all my brain can handle at the moment.

"I could care less" to mean "I could NOT care less"

"Ding ding ding!" When someone agrees with something you wrote, but wants to make sure that you know that they already knew and claim ownership of the statement that you wrote. Condesending asshole. I did not arrive at your opinion late.

"Meanwhile" in cooking recipes. Just no. I am following a recipe in stepwise order. You do not get to tell me what I should have already done in the previous step.

Upskill. I'm not 'upskilling' someone, I'm training them.

Someone could take all the answers here and create a copypasta equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard.

Enshittification. Everyone just learned a new word and has to use it at least once in every comment section to feel smart.

I cringe so hard at the twitterist carebear-hugbox way of smugly claiming the intellectual high ground and shaming somebody:

"Be better." or "Do better."

The sentiment isn't terrible, but it's prevalent use is obviously just dripping with arrogance and thrown out in the most petty ways. Ugh!

'Should of" instead of "should've"

Mama, momma, mommas…

“Hey Facebook mommas, I’ve got a question about…”

I don’t know why, but it annoys the shit out of me.

"living my/your/their best life"

Please gtfo

im still a bit salty about 'literally'

also the constant failure to say 'i could not care less' correctly

"It is what it is"

I get the sentiment behind it, it's just usually so defeatist/dismissive of a situation to me.

Places using "gluten-friendly" to mean "gluten-free". I am gluten-UNfriendly. I do not want gluten. They've tried to be cute and actually managed to make the term mean the opposite of what it's supposed to.

i know i'm being a but i despise the term 'taxpayer funds'/'taxpayer money'. besides being completely wrong in nearly all cases, it places taxes above the people, above labor.

'American taxpayer is paying for the genocide in Gaza'. No, every person/entity using U.S. Dollars is paying for it. Even foreign countries are indirectly paying for it.

No, you don't have a "challenge" for me. You have a problem and are trying to make it mine.

"I'm just sayin'" ok but you're still an asshole.

Not a term, but a lack thereof:

People I have to regularly interact with for work have been excluding "to be", especially with "needs", and it's infuriating.

This issue needs escalated. That report needs fleshed out. Let me know if anything needs cleared up.

The corporate overenthusiasm "LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO".

Ugh. Sure, maybe the product launch went great, but still. Ugh.

I work as a barista and get much too annoyed by people ordering a "regular coffee".

Like I know that 99.999% of the time they mean a drip/filter coffee (excluding that one lady that one time who was surprised I didn't parse "regular coffee" as a latte), but like can you just say drip coffee? Or even simply "coffee"!

I honestly don't even know why it annoys me this much.

More of a grammatical mistake, but "should of" instead of "should've" or "should have" annoys the hell out of me for some reason. I completely get how people make the mistake, but it's as much effort as just typing it correctly.

So many things. In written form, I hate when someone writes "Period." after they make a point to mean "this can't be argued" or whatever. My good bitch, I don't think you understand how arguing works. 😆

"Full stop" is a close second.

"Who hurt you?"

These days, that's shorthand for "I'm an emotionally stunted liberal who is so incapable of self-reflection that anyone who disagrees with a point I have must be acting from a place of unresolved trauma". It's always felt like people-who-definitely-used-to-post-to-4chan burning extra words to get to the r-slur they so desperately want to use; but with the exact kind of plausible deniability that gets their squishy bits either hard or wet.

Ironically, the phrase "rustles my jimmies" really burns my biscuits.