this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
313 points (98.8% liked)

Greentext

4384 readers
1110 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 31 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

they're not Anons anymore since we now know their names

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Yes I'm sure those aren't at all made up.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

That is how you spell pheonix and I don't care what the Oxford English dictionary or anyone else says.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's just misspelled cat food

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

sheds a single protoss tear

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Now I need a Fenix Down

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think it was the wordsmith Scroobius pip that wrote that lyric

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Ah, I only know the song, didn't know which of the two wrote it

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thurman is short for Turd Ferguson

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Is your name Thurman?... Thurman Merman?... Jesus.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

The Thurman is easy to shorten, at least nowadays. Just add a thick drawl to the 'Thur' and say, "but everybody calls me Thor," and roll your eyes a bit. They'll laugh, tease you about it a bit because you got named after a comic book character, and then you won't be known as Thurman.

spoilerI'm well aware that Thor did not originate in comic books. Thank you for reading my TED Sp(ew)Ed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Thursday is Thor's Day. Just say your name is Thur and a day of the week is named after you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I knew a Thor in highschool. I think his name was actually Anthor? I could be wrong. Knew his brother also, named Mordecai. They had a lot more sibling I never learned their names. They were an...interesting family.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

A kid in my kids class went by Thor.... short for Thorafin

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I work with a Furman, like not even a furry. (As far as I know.)

Maybe you could shorten Thurman to Thurry?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

thurry

I’m getting an image of cold tomato soup with hair in it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can't they just, adopt the correct version of their name?

I have a friend with a very arcaic name and most people don't know what we call him is not his real name.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

People don't realize that this has always been the case. I learned my wife's grandpa's real name at his funeral.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

My grandpa had the middle name Adolph, named after his father's first name. They both changed their names to Allen in America. 😂 And no, they weren't fond of Nazis.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

When I was much younger, my gf and I joked about naming an unwanted child to punish them (in reality, we'd get an abortion). We decided Paisley was the best bad name. But I think Thurman's parents hated them even more.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

One chance at life? Wait till these jokers learn about Reincarnation

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Phoenix is a cool name, tho. Even if it's spelled wrong.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

That's just Mike Tyson calling someone sir

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Though I'm not gonna say my name here, I could respond to that thread.