this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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They are supposed to be grown from spores, so what use are ork nipples?

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You see this discourse come up from time to time in other fantasy settings. I remember there being quite a stir over whether lizardfolk in other media should have breasts.

I'm not deep into the Warhammer lore, but there's a few things I know about orkz:

  • They grow from spores like a fungus
  • They were manufactured by some other race as a sort of guardian caste
  • They have potent psychic powers that manipulate reality around them

My theory is that the folks who created the orkz had nipples themselves. Impressionable young orkz saw that their creators were fully grown and had nipples, so maybe they thought they ought to get some as they mature. If they believe that should happen, then it'll find a way to happen.

Later orkz would have seen that the previous generation of orkz had nipples, so they would continued growing in this way.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They have potent psychic powers that manipulate reality around them

I read once that this is why they paint their vehicles red. Because they believe that red makes it go faster, and with their latent psychic ability, the red ships actually DO go faster, because they believe so strongly in it.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (3 children)

My personal favorite, some kommandos believing painting themselves purple would make them sneakier because no one's ever seen a purple ork.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Commissar Yarrick can kill Orkz by staring at them real hard because they believe he can do so.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That he installed an eye socket laser to reinforce their belief in the death stare might help with lethality too

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Oh sure, but the rumors of the Bale Eye existed before the implant did. That thing is only about as strong as a laspistol. Sure it'll burn a hole through your trousers but it's isn't about to explode a charging Ork into bloody chunks. All that power comes from the gestalt field, presumably.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

There's also the fan theory that the only thing keeping the Emperor barely alive is the combined power of all Orks who consider him a worthy and immortal opponent.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is there a single canonical citation for this? It feels like a meme.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One of the old codex books. It's going back decades however. The works have changed a lot from that era. It was the same codex as the buzzer squig catapult, if that helps narrow it down.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

The spore lore was only implemented in 1997. Before that their reproduction worked differently.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

Mhhh this has norhing to do with 40k lore, It's just empirically proven that red vehicles go faster

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

... honestly, the most likely argument is that they saw other races and collectively assumed they ought to have nipples too (oi! why dem pink skins 'ave dots on em? Orkzz ought 'ave em too!! wauuugh) also and so they manifested them. now its just part of their genetic code and none of them ask why anymore.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Orkz are no strangers to krumpin' gitz because they aren't Orky enough though. Even their own clan. I find it hard to believe they'd be easily peer pressured into having nipples, let alone by other species.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

That's not peer pressure, that's cultural osmosis. If other species tried to force them to have nipples, then they would resist

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So they can be milked, obviously.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

"I have nipples, Grelnak, can you milk me? It may sound like sarcasm, but it's a genuine request. I'm getting quite swollen"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This one right here, commissar.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well they're an evolutionarily manufactured race, so likely the base template had them originally but post intervention they remained as a vestigial organ.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So... A lazy creator? That tracks.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean, what exactly would be the point of dedicating the effort to removing them?

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

Lore hasn't clarified it officially but I suspect their nipples are just a specialized form of squig.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Boring answer:Because it's a game made by humans. Same reason the na'vi from avatar have boobs.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (4 children)

What use are nipples on males?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hmmm. Can't say I've licked one personally, but I see what you're seeing. I guess I meant an actual use for them. More of a rhetorical question I guess.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I guess I meant an actual use for them.

Licking is an actual use.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It is. I wasn't being specific enough, sorry. Actual use in terms of evolutionary fitness. There are no reasons for them evolutionarily other than they are a byproduct of fetal development.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anything that makes people hornier and more likely to procreate is an evolutionary advantage.

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[–] Strider 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That's the thing with natural selection though, as long as a trait isn't deleterious and it's common enough it'll generally stick around. There's no pressure for males to not have nipples.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Because males were females until the right amount of chemicals were introduced to the fetus. Take enough estrogen and males can produce milk and no longer have useless nipples.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

They actually are capable of producing a small amount of milk, it's just that doing that requires so much effort for so little reward that feeding babies became the mother's job after a few thousand generations of mammals being a thing.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They have been engineered by the Old Ones. So I’m just gonna assume, they didn’t think of that when the Necron and C’tan came knocking on their doors.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

psychological warfare. First thing the Necron & C'tan did in battle was hesitate thinking, "wtf? do those monsters have nipples?"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Causing a couple of circuits to burn out. Kickstarting the Flayed Ones.

I am adapting this as headcanon now.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I mean, human men have nipples and there's no use for them there either. Evolution doesn't get rid of things because they aren't useful anymore, it only gets rid of things when they become detrimental to the survival of the species.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Orkz didn't evolve though, they're an engineered species.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Human men have nipples because human women have nipples and human men having nipples doesn't significantly impair human men.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Nipples are sensitive and sensitive things can help with arousal and reproduction. That makes them useful for the population in general, even if not everyone is into it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Where do you think orc milk comes from?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Same place you get bull milk.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

With that consistency I think the milk spoiled.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For the same reason why some of the Necrons have nipples: intimidation.

[–] HobbitFoot 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do Ork nipples also cut glass?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No. For Orks, it's all about size and color.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe they're not mammal nipples, but happen to look like it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Is there a lore reason why that mushroom has a nipple?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

If Batman and Robin can have nipples, orks can have nipples too!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Which Ork models have nipples?

I can't say my knowledge of the current range is exhaustive, but I can't think of a single model that has one from the 1998 - 2016 era. There's a runtherd with a piercing where a nipple would be, but no nipple.

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