Ask Lemmy

In 2016, there were a bunch of creepy/killer clown sightings. At least in America it made the news pretty regularly. My conspiracy theory is that it started purely as Guerilla Marketing for the 2017 IT adaptation.

Alex Jones was a CIA plant, to make conspiracy theorists look crazy… And it worked really really well.

The government was nervous because there were some conspiracy theories that were a little too close to reality. Shit like MK ULTRA and the Harvard mind control experiment sound fake, but we have the declassified docs. We know they happened. And there were lots of conspiracy theories that were likely hitting just a little too close for comfort. But outright disputing the conspiracy theories would just add credibility to them, in a “methinks the lady doth protest too much” sort of way.

So instead, they set out to discredit the people making the claims. They wanted to poison the well. So they found a dude named Alex Jones who had potential. He’s easily manipulated, so they can basically feed him wild conspiracies and he’ll eat them up. And all they had to do was boost his message. Jones never even needed to knew he was a plant, (and in fact, it would work better if he remained clueless.)

They gave conspiracy theorists a face. Before Alex Jones, conspiracy theories were something the average person jokingly threw around while drunk at the bar. But suddenly, conspiracy theorists were up front and center. And here’s the important part: the theories didn’t have a good spokesman. Suddenly, the average person’s view of conspiracy theories shifted. They weren’t funny anymore; They had your crazy uncle ranting about dead kids being fake.

By giving conspiracy theories a face, then having that face spew the most insane bullshit alongside the true (or nearly true) theories, the government was able to discredit the true theories. They were able to poison the well, because the main person ranting about the conspiracy also thinks Sandy Hook was a hoax.

Firefox knows the exact worst time to force a restart on me. What's up with that?

I once read a beautifully indisputable piece on how Jar Jar Binks is a highly skilled Sith Lord. It's all a front!

Heres my conspiracy theory:

Political extremism isn't real (specifically in regards to left wing "extremism"). Its a social construct created by the capitalist class to convince workers that left wing ideologies are scary and having your elections be between two liberals is "normal". If you ignore that ideologies like Anarchism become common sense. Why do we need lords and masters, why do we need the tyranny of capitalists and the cruel rule of "democratically elected" leaders? Ultimately we do not, the economy would be better if it was owned by the workers and world better if every person was free to be the master of their own life. Capitalists and politicans fully understand this, thats why they pump everyone with propaganda so they can keep their positions of privilege and power.

Years ago I had fun with "what if the US never actually went to the moon". I did not believe it, it was just a nice plot idea, we even made a pen & paper oneshot about it. Nowadays I have no whatsoever fun in thought experiments like this, because the real threat of someone believing it to be true. I want to enjoy "birds aren't real" or "giraffes do not exist" or ... the worst is flat earth. It started out as a joke and now idiots try to proof the earth is flat, proof by accident it isn't and then question rather their methods than their belief system. We just can't have nice things.

When windows has updated and needs to restart it purposefully gets a bit slower/buggy to make people restart the PC.

Music artists get paid to change their album titles.

Katy Perry released Prism to drown out Snowden's revelations about the NSA Prism program

Tinfoil hats on? Alrighty then:

All these Verizon outages are intentional and part of the plan to invalidate the 2024 election.

We'll see it happen again on and around election day, maybe xitter will go down too.

Whole voting districts in Georgia won't report in, citing system crashes, security breaches, whatever they feel like making up. Republican Secretaries of State will declare the election compromised before vote counting even starts.

Obviously there's also a hurricane and massive flooding, hence the tinfoil hat, but let's not forget where and when we are in history, and that The Business Plot was a real thing.

Ken Paxton has dirt on every Republican in Texas, and the fraud we know about is probably a multitude less than what he actually does.

Not mine, but the one where Michael Jackson is the love child of Diana Ross and Smokey Robinson caught my attention when someone posted it to reddit.

Republicans knew a lot about Benghazi because Israel orchestrated the attack and hoped Republicans could use it as an attack against Obama.

The highest quality fruits, veggies, and meats go to restaurants leaving only mid stuff at the grocery store. Which makes cooking at home seem inferior to restaurant food even for home chefs. Pushing people to spend more going out and drive capitalism

My conspiracy theory consists of being very suspicious of the people talking about the conspiracies, more than the content of the theory itself.

"Trad-wives" are the pick me girls' final form. I think it's also for women who want to do OnlyFans type work, but don't want to be as risqué. It's like soft core incel porn more than an actual depiction or celebration of maternity.

The Bin Laden killing was a hoax. That guy died year ago because he was on dialysis machines that wouldn’t really function well somewhere deep in the Pakistani mountains. Or maybe he was actually in that house they raided at some point. But the message came out of nowhere like around the time of the reelection campaign. And they never showed a body. But then they even came up with some BS excuse that a sea burial would be Islamic tradition. Also if they really found him why wouldn’t they just arrest him and give him a process? I’m not buying it.

I got another one (that's pretty much a fact) in order to get facial recognision, fingerprint sensors, etc working you have to login with your ms/apple/google acc, on windows 7 you didn't have to... now why would you need an online connection to setup a piece of physikal hardware with local sofyware??? It's pretty simple: apple, google and microsoft know your face, your fingerprint, your voice, your location, etc

Windows, Android, & Apple software used to nag you about installing updates endlessly. They don't do that so much anymore. I think it's because instead of alerts asking us to install updates, they now create network outages, software crashes, and other minor issues that require a restart. How often do you have some inexplicable problem, restart your device to fix it, and your machine is like "Hey while we're in there we're also installing this update we just downloaded a moment ago."

What about r/catstandingup? Videos or Pics of cats standing.

The comments and replies to comments are always: Cat.

the feds and big corpos are spying on you and the only reason you're still alive is because

a) you're a small fish

xor

b) you help them in some way by being a usefull idiot

xor

c) you're part of the conspiracy