this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

They can feel it in their bones

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Skelekenesis

[–] [email protected] 77 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

In DnD it's because most undead are damned and tortured souls enslaved by dark magic to the bidding of their twisted masters.

The skellingtons are looking at you, the real you, the core of your very existence with their soul eyeballs. And they hate you, because you are alive, and they aren't just dead, they're being tortured every moment of their existence.

But, hey, tell me more about your perfect medieval civilization built on raising zombie field hands.

/Jokekilling

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I keep my skeleton in line by occasionally breaking bones. Gotta make sure it knows who's boss.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Are skeletons working against you? A necromancer dissertation

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 days ago

Free me from this flesh, brother

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's wet in you. They have to rescue your skeleton from drowning.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

"Your bones are wet in you."

Unpleasant. Mmh. No, no thank you.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You know how their jumble of bones pulls together when you get close? Their bones wanna do that with your bones, and the osteonetic attraction that pulls their bones together let's them know where your bones are, too.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So all you would have to do to avoid this fate would be to pull out your own bones from your body, interesting...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And that's how you get slimes

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

"Whoopsie, ah... I mean... success?"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Their bones are actually inert. Your bones just want to join their bones doing fuck all all day long. Their bones are doing your bones' bidding.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago

The same way they're able to take human shape and move instead of sitting in a pile...

Shit, some of them talk

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (2 children)

How do they not just collapse into a pile of bones?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

One could argue, that joints are part of the skeleton.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Cartilage isn't.

But, as always, the real answer is "a wizard did it". Skeletons don't just hop up and animate themselves.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Skeletons don't just hop up and animate themselves.

Tell me you are from US without saying you are from US, lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This wouldn't be nearly the first time I've said some stupid Americanism without realizing it, but mind telling me what it was at least?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Your skeletons don't seem to rise from the ground. Common American problem, don't need to feel bad about it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Problem? I'd like to know what your raised skeletons are doing that makes them a positive on your community.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Stop being such a racist. They're part of the community like you and me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Well great great grandpa is a wonderful story teller for the kids and you wouldn't believe how big of an area on a field my second great aunt thirteen times removed can clear in one day.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

Mine does, but I need an elaborate system of organic strings to make it work and an over powered processor.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Your skeleton is bragging so much about its cool meatsuit they want to destroy it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Nah your skeleton is held prisoner by your meatsuit. The other skeletons are just trying to liberate it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Betrayel always comes from within.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So the ultimate counter to skeletons are octopuses.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Octopuses have beaks. Are beaks considered part of a skeleton?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Afaik beaks are more like nails, hoofs and antlers in composition.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Nails, hooves, and rhino horn are all made of keratin; antlers are a little more complicated: https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/news-posts/horns-and-antlers-what-s-the-difference

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I could swear some movie or video game taught me re-animated deer skeletons can have antlers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

In video game logic it needs antlers to be a deer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Isn’t the proper plural term octopi?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Technically they're all "correct", just that octopodes is the most correct and coolest sounding

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

ExtraSkeletalPerception

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

snotelek to snotelek communication

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

A dungeon suddenly becomes the corridors of the Nostromo. No matter where you hide, the skeletons can sense your BONES!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago