this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2024
119 points (96.1% liked)

Asklemmy

43782 readers
896 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Couple more optional questions

  • Did the decision bring any change to your life ?
  • Do you feel the decision stopped you from expressing something at some point ?
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I have made a conscious effort to reduce swearing, which has brought my swearing down to near zero, both online and in real life conversation.

I have found that it streamlines the ability to make a point. A lot of swearing is simply thrown in out of habit, and if you remove it, all you do is make your point more clear without losing anything of substance.

I think for many people swearing is a "filler word" in the same way that "umm" can be. I have also worked hard to reduce my other filler word use. My goal with both of these is better articulation.

The next effect is that swearing is normally viewed as an extreme use of language for an extreme situation, and when you don't constantly swear the times that you do actually conveys how notable the situation is.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

See, @[email protected]?

In the comment I’m replying to, the fuck is a filler because it could easily just say β€˜Yeah dude’ but the tone would be different.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Then it isn't a filler. I never said I don't swear, but have greatly reduced it. One effect of reduced swearing is that when swears are used, they have more punch.

I'm not sure why you're so invested in debating that people who habitually swear won't insert swears into unrelated thoughts, but the only support I offer is to listen to someone who habitually swears speak. I don't want to sound like that, so I make the effort not to.

My choice on how I speak and type doesn't impose anything on you.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I’m glad we could collaborate on this effort and teach people some shit 🀝

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If people know you as someone who doesn't swear, when you do swear they will take note of what you're saying.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I try to avoid it because it dilutes your actual point. They're filler words, that are sometimes used for actual emphasis, but mostly just said out of habit and really don't mean anything at all.

Besides, if you rarely swear, it makes it even more powerful when you actually fucking mean it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fuck no, they are powerful words that can convey emotion better than regular words, to the point where mods will ban you for hurting their feelings.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

When used sparingly, a concisely uttered tactical fuck can he used to lay waste to your enemies and their entire extended family.

But, like, if you fucking just use it all the fucking time to punctuate your words without any fucking rhyme or reason, people will just think you've got nothing to actually fucking say.

Besides, one can just use the word "very"

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago

I just save it up.

It's like yelling. Nobody pays attention if you do it all the time.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I enjoy the exercise of trying to think ahead of the words coming out of my mouth so I can speak more concisely and clearly. It's the same reason I do calligraphy.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you can do calligraphy ahead of the words coming out of your mouth then I am thoroughly impressed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

No calligraphy is for writing slowly and deliberately. It has helped me immeasurably

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Two reasons:

  1. I live in Utah, where the Mormons are, and they get very offended by swearing. Although there are some ways in which I will definitely not accommodate their religious beliefs, I also think it's healthy to meet other people at their comfort level (if it's reasonable to do so). On the one hand, I understand the idea that we shouldn't have to change who we are in order to make other people comfortable. On the other hand, I do think that if you take that idea too far, it can be a kind of antisocial behavior. When in Rome, as they say.
  2. It has more impact if you don't do it often. Think about a Quentin Tarantino movie. By the time Samuel L. Jackson has said "fuck" for the 157th time, you're just used to it. The word doesn't even stand out anymore. But now consider the end of The Princess Bride, which has one swear word in the entire movie: "I want my father back you son of a bitch." WHA-BAM! Hits like a freight train every time!

For the follow-up questions, kind of the same answer to both of them. I feel like not swearing -- or, swearing less -- requires me to be more precise when I'm criticizing something. Instead of just saying that something was "like shit", I have to give a more specific criticism. So that's the change that it has made, and no, it hasn't stopped me from expressing something.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I like your second point, I had never thought of it this way. It’s like when your parents call you by your full name. You know you are in trouble.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Because swear words are, to me, an expression of anger or irritation. Swearing would therefore reinforce angry mindstates.

Yes, this was both very helpful for my mind, i'm happy and calm most of the time, and others appreciate it too and are happy to be around me.

It didn't stop me from expressing anything. It just makes me pause to think of a better, kinder way to express myself, without making other people angry. It helps communicating with other people in a more friendly, helpful way. When i would be angry, it would be hard to listen to other people.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Interesting point, I might start doing this. Challenge myself to find more inventive words to express myself.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don’t really use those words unless I’m in a state my brain cannot better articulate my thoughts and feelings. They are a crude tool.

Reminds me of:

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/08/29/substitute-damn/

…there is one thing I wish you would do when you sit down to write news stories, and that is: Never use the word, β€œvery.” It is the weakest word in the English language; doesn’t mean anything. If you feel the urge of β€œvery” coming on, just write the word, β€œdamn,” in the place of β€œvery.” The editor will strike out the word, β€œdamn,” and you will have a good sentence.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

I feel like this belongs here.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I was once being followed and harassed by a woman. I told her to "stay the fuck out of my life".

Nothing came of it, but when I asked a lawyer about getting a restraining order against her, he told me that she actually had grounds to get an order against me, specifically because I had used the word "fuck" when I said that to her. That word, he said, could be considered evidence in a hearing that I was dangerous to her.

So basically, my primary reason to stop cursing is to avoid triggering special rules (not only legal, but corporate rules as well) that are activated by a person who says those key words.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Getting a restraining order against someone, because they saidβ€œstay the fuck out of my life” is so dumb. Sorry, I had to laugh. Hope you sorted that out and can live your life safely.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I am vastly aware of the irony, believe me

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I save my profanity for times and things that are truly worth getting upset about. If you use it all the time, then it becomes meaningless. It just becomes background noise and you sound like a 10 year old all the time.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

I had children. In my opinion, I had no choice. I was swearing so much that I thought it made me sound dumb but I couldn't stop until I felt I had to. There are moments where I really miss it but only in intense frustration. Overall, I'm able to articulate better and think I'm better received.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I don't (or at least try not to) swear around my ma. She doesn't like hearing them and that's enough reason for me. Of course every once in awhile I may drop one purposefully, for the little kick of annoying my ma. I share some of her sentiment though. In general I think swearing can be a bit vulgar/unpleasant, so I don't necessarily try to swear at every opportunity, but I do when I'm not around her.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

My parents both didn't swear (at least not where I could hear them) so I simply never picked up the habit. I can swear if I make a conscious effort to do so, but generally only find reason to if I am quoting someone or something. And even that feels awkward to me.

As for expressing myself, I don't believe I have much trouble in that regard. There are a ton of other words available and ways to arrange them. And if I truly need to express anguish, rage, etc. there is always yelling or screaming.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I hear what I say and it feels unpleasant.
Also, I don't like adding senseless* words in my speech.

* Unless it's funny or sth.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I use them when warranted, which isn't very often. I don't think the avoidance of using swears is a religious thing, it's a language/cultural thing. For some reason they're just deemed "bad words". They exist in almost all languages and cultures as far as I know.

A good friend of mine swears a lot unless kids are around. I don't mind it, but he's sort of "that guy" because of it. If he was someone I just met, I'd think he's just a bit lowbrow and that's about it. I wouldn't think poorly of anyone because of it as long as their attitude is good.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I suggest moderation and good taste in these matters

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I was told people who swear sounded less intelligent. It made me not want to do it. I swear rarely, usually if I'm quoting someone. I swear a little more liberally in text, but not very often.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I swear but try to limit it as much as I can. That way when I do it has more impact.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I do not publicly swear, I live in a place where practically everyone does, I am young, all my friends do, but I don't, mostly, because I like to be soft-spoken. I have publicly swore maybe less than 5 times (even these are when I am very angry, someone swore, and I just repeat how can you say ***). Plus this elevates even the impact of me saying something like "stupid person" (in my native language) as if I swore. I do swore in my mind, mostly from having it as a part of my vocabulary (I do know how to swear (pretty good) in 3 languages, and a bit in 3 more), but I maintain good filters, and just helps me do natural conversations, so I dont have to think of my statements when I say it in front of my friends, or elderly

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I'm not at all bothered by "swear words," and I'll use them occasionally (mostly when I think it's funny), but it's somewhat rare. I just don't find it very necessary most of the time. I can usually make my point just find without, but sometimes the emphasis seems right out, again, it seems funnier.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I choose to swear because sometimes words aren't enough otherwise. When faced with the horrors of this world, sometimes a good "fucking" paired with whatever garbage is just appropriate. As in, "this fucking society."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Used to swear a lot, still swear but much less frequently.

The effect of swearing is fairly diluted, they're used so often they don't really carry any weight when you use them. I find that there are typically better ways to emphasize a point, and using them more sparingly makes them more effective.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I feel like im the opposite from a lot of people in this thread. I very rarely get upset. Like, once a year maybe? Sure, some things annoy me, but they're rarely worth getting upset about. I think most people see me as a "funny guy" thats easy to be around.

Now I swear a lot, like very alot. And its mostly for comedic purpose or putting that tiny bit of emphasis on something, usually opposite from what i actually mean. Saying something like "a fuckton" usually means i had 2 apples instead of 1, where if i actually had way too many apples i would be more descriptive about it and not swear. People tend to take things more seriously that way.

I think casually swearing can help with not getting upset to begin with while also being more expressive if used correctly. I feel like i can get emphasis on what i say and having some form of relief from just swearing casually, which helps negate the build up of annoyances and eventually actually getting upset.

I very rarely swear in an insulting manner, i find it way more insulting and effective to use words that are very "unharmful" for that purpose, such as calling someone a clown or gnome. In the right setting those are devasting. I dont think it translates very well to english, but just imitating a 10yo and saying "your mom" is also just insanely funny as an insult because of how inherently stupid it is.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Not everyone is immune to swearing; I don't see any point in causing unnecessary offence; and they contribute nothing to the meaning, except perhaps voicing a level of emotion which can be better expressed in other ways.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

They are filler words, that serve no purpose

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I decided to try to stop swearing in college, to see if it would improve my attitude - and to see if anyone would notice.

Both turned out to be true. People found me pleasant to work with and hang around. I recommend it, personally!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

So I do still swear and curse…

But now I do it literally.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Honestly not sure why I just never really did in the first place

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I had a phase as a teen when I was constantly swearing. My parents told me that, it can't be that bad and it's really annoying.

And it's mostly an impulse reaction and we're kind of above that.

It doesn't mean that you can't express pain or anger. You're just not insulting people's ears if you scream "Aaaaah" when you bang your toe against a table leg or something. And your environment really doesn't deserve it. Most people are somewhat compassionate and you're just swearing while they try to help... that's not a pleasant environment for them to be in. It makes it harder to help you.

No to both questions. I just made a change and that was it. And it has never stopped me from expressing anything.

If anything, it lends more weight to the regular words.

A _______ criminal? Or a criminal?

You can still put the same emotion into the words, they're just not swear words. :)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It was a cycle for me:

Not swearing led to swearing.

Swearing led to learning to swear in other languages.

Learning to swear in other languages served me well as I moved out of North America to teach.

Being out of North American led to me being more humble and less the brash North American. Also, I spent a lot of time with children.

Being less brash and speaking in other languages led me to think more about what I say before saying it.

Thinking about my speech led to downgrading swearing to make a point. I'll swear, depending on the audience.

Specifically β€” like L-Boogie said β€” "I'll add a MFer so you ign'ant ****s hear me." (Fugees, The Score, "Zealots") If I'm cursing, it's prolly because there's some ignorance in my area.

I admit, sometimes it's mine.

Also, the irony is not lost on me that L fell off not too long after this rhyme. Celebrity culture can be a scene full of ignorance. I don't blame her. I blame the industry.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I still swear online, but I try not to do it aloud anymore because I accidentally dropped an f-bomb in front of a customer. I'm not bothered by them, and I don't get why other people are, so I don't think about it and get careless.

load more comments
view more: next β€Ί