this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
502 points (95.6% liked)

Programmer Humor

32558 readers
910 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 223 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I leave on time, how is that an insult? I'd be much more insulted if someone asked me to work for them for free. That's what unpaid overtime is.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 2 months ago

It's a compliment. You're skilled and valuable enough that the company won't dare to give you any bullshit for leaving on time.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"Quiet quitting" 😂

Because yeah, you only do the job they pay you for, how dare you!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

I think “quiet quitting” is just the white collar equivalent to the more blue collar “nobody wants to work anymore!”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Today I sat down at the computer around 8:30, had lunch around 10:55 - 12:00, then at 13:00 - 14:30 I went for a walk with my wife and 6 month old son to feed ducks which he absolutely loved, and I stopped working at 16:10. Adding all that together should equal to... I don't care. The company who bought us and ruined everything had a 1.5 hrs townhall yesterday with 880 attendees, equating to some €30k lost in man power.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

I think they meant the "finance guy" insulted the whole "race" of "developers", but otherwise they agree.

[–] [email protected] 113 points 2 months ago (2 children)

as my pay has gone down relative to inflation the amount of fucks I give goes down.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I like that and am going to steal it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Please do. I too stole it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just remember to steal some stationary as well.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

If you're not stealing from work, you're stealing from your family.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

Due to inflation I now leave at 3:30

[–] DJDarren 48 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My company finishes at 4. 3:56 every day I clock out so I can get out of the yard before everyone else and not get stuck in traffic.

My mama didn’t raise no fools. Well, apart from my little brother.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Leave home 5 minutes early, and leave work 5 minutes early. Both of which will probably save you a bunch of driving time.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I typically stay at work until 5pm because I make no effort to come in early and I take long lunch breaks.

This place is an absolute ghost town by 5, and it makes me happy to see that. It seems people mostly have their heads on straight here.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You sure it isn't the finance and management guys leaving at 4pm and earlier while developers are expected to work past hours and even at home?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

Don't forget Sales people too. At my company they frequently schedule fun activities right in the middle of the day.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Who isn't racing out the door at 5pm? I trade labor for wages, I'm not sticking around for unpaid overtime just to make some investor who's never worked a day in his life even richer.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

These are the same people who measure lunch breaks by the second and suddenly become careless with clock after 5

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nothing breaks after 5pm because there aren’t any developers still doing releases.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Technically correct, which is the best type of correct

Edit: as long as you are not part of the infrastructure team. Then things break right after 5 PM.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago

What? No! I leave at 6pm. (But start at 2)

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I leave at 3 pm on office days to beat traffic. Everyone does that. What is this 5 pm thing he talks about? Must be America...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How do you beat traffic if everyone does it?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I knew someone would see the logical flaw here... :)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I used to arrive promptly at 7am, and clock out at 3:30pm.

The bus to the office was always empty.

The bus home was always packed.

Now I work from home

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Not everyone has a coke budget 😞

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Sorry we don't live our lives for the opportunity to destroy ourselves for senpai company owner like you."

My supervisor doesn't know how to maintain what I build, despite me attempting to show her. At this point, we openly pity each other, her because I have no desire to do more than what my job entails, take the paycheck, and leave to go live my life, and I because she proudly has no life to go home to because she spends 12 hours a day plus here acting like Jesus on the cross for the greedy, indifferent owner.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ops is like Hotel California.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Brother, life is too short not to leave when you want.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Really? Am I the only one: "just" fixing this one thing before go home?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I only do that when the problem space is interesting.

Most developers are just implementing CRUD using a framework that does most of the work. There isn't the interest motivation to keep on trying to fix things.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I'm a bit of a 3-4 pm leaver (always do stuff on schedule)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My job involves going out to sites to install equipment sometimes. This means as long as I'm walking out with a box in my hand I can leave whenever I want. My boss doesn't care where I am as long as things get done.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My boss doesn't care if I log in at 11 and log out at 3 with a 2 hour lunch in the middle, but to be fair, my boss is me and I'm pretty chill.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Can you be my boss plz?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

You guys leave work?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Never stayed much past lunch, myself. Working in finance

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Get a government job; everybody leaves at 5pm

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

What?? Special occasion.

load more comments
view more: next ›