this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2024
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Science Memes

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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 84 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Johnny was a chemists son. But Johnny is no more. What Johnny thought was H20, Was H2S04.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

The one I remember from school was phrased slightly differently (but same concept) :

Poor little Jimmy is lying on the floor, for what he thought was H2O was H2SO4

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Two chemists enter a bar. One orders a glass of H2O. The other chemist says I'll have a glass of H2O too. He bleached his throat and died.

[–] [email protected] 82 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Are you even sciencing if you don't drink some piss you found in a beaker somewhere?

[–] [email protected] 80 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Observation: this looks like piss} Question: is this piss?} Hypothesis: this is probably piss} Experiment: drink the piss} Analysis: tastes like piss} Conclusion: it’s piss

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

Sometimes it be like that.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (3 children)

could also check for urea content, or proteins, but sure why not drink it

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

I mean, drinking it (well tasting) used to be the legit way of testing it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Yeah, check for all of that using the high fidelity, self calibrating sensory cluster.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Inconclusive: the data is also a perfect fit for domestic American light beer.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

How do you know it tastes like piss if you've never tasted piss before?

Better piss in a cup and taste it to make sure we get a nice baseline.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (9 children)

This is probably worse than piss.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Well, you could say beer is yeast piss.

I'll have another (lab brewed yeast piss. From malted grain. Sometimes with hops)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

"Sinking piss" is Australian for drinking.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (5 children)

distilled water, lab grade ethanol, a couple drops of limonene, and there you go

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sadly the Erlenmeyer flask was previously used for some nasty water soluble compounds and just looks clean.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

rinse -> acetic acid -> rinse -> Acqua regia-> Rinse -> Pirahna solution -> Rinse -> 500°C oven -> Rinse

I would then drink from it without even worrying

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Is NileRed then too cautious when he only uses fresh breakers for stuff he is going to eat?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The cost of a fresh beaker is worth mitigating the risk.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

he's lucky to have a big enough channel to be able to afford 40000$ NMR machines, so a couple beakers aren't that much of an expense for much more safety

but as a home chemist, there is NO WAY I'm getting new beakers every time I wanna do edible chem, especially pyrex branded ones like Nile does. Lab equipment, even basic glassware, is ridiculously overpriced

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget the phase-change cooling from the addition of solid state H20.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

No, they're talking about a ridiculously high mass isotope of Hydrogen. Turns out it has some wacky properties.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I remember reading about a chemistry teacher found dead one morning. he had a habit of consuming the laboratory's ethanol after hours, and the night before had accidentally poured himself a glass of methanol

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Today we are making burgers from pocket lint and sodium hydroxide"

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Even if i was modeling I don't think I could do this.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What's wrong with a little piss chug every here and there? Asking for a friend.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've done this. Chemistry equipment is good for bongs too.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I themed the wet bar in my basement as a laboratory. There's a drying rack on the wall that I use to store 15 mL beakers that I use a shot glasses. It's fun. I've also found that a hot plate stirer with a thermometer probe and a vacuum filtration setup makes the best clarified butter easy as a snap!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Whenever I toast with beakers, I yell out "TO SCIENCE!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Unless you're drinking port, in which case you legally have to yell "TO INDUSTRY!"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Enjoy your benzene

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm just glad she's wearing earings and makeup like a good female.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Women doing science? Preposterous.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

...my wife's a mad scientist: well, she's a senior scientist and she's mad pretty often...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Have we communally decided where the proper line should be drawn between lifestyle acceptance, and calling out stereotypes in media? I get what you're insinuating, but some women do actually seem to enjoy wearing earrings. You could just as notably call out the fact that she has long hair.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Way to demonstrate the proper usage of PPE there!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

EHS would approve the eye protection at least.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

At least she's wearing gloves!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

And goggles. Lord knows what that shit might do to your eyes.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

That’s some tasty chlorine

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