this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2024
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obligatory I'm a German nurse living in Germany, but the German channels on lemmy don't have as many members as this one, so I ask here.

When I work I like to do my job and then relax. To me, doing it the other way round is just stupid. I was never the kind of person that goes to work to socialize, I don't need it and I strongly resent forced socialization.

For the last 2 years I've worked within the same hospital system and it's clear to me now, nobody thinks like me: all my coworkers spend the first hour of the shift talking about their private lives, as they were looking for excuses not to work and expect anyone else to take care of patients. And because I'm the only one with this job mentality, it's always me the one who works while the rest do nothing.

This is very frustrating and I'm now applying elsewhere, but it bothers me that my new workplace can turn out to be like this.

I'm also applying for office positions (no shifts) and wonder: does this happen there as well? Ideally I'd be completely responsible for my work alone.

I feel like a student at school again, when the teacher forced me to work in a group with the lazier ones and I ended up either doing most of the job or became as lazy as them. Why work when they don't?

I don't want to work with people who slow me down.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And because I’m the only one with this job mentality, it’s always me the one who works while the rest do nothing.

This is very frustrating and I’m now applying elsewhere, but it bothers me that my new workplace can turn out to be like this.

You'll see this everywhere. If you're not their manager, it's not worth worrying about.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (5 children)

so how would a smart person react to this?

I wouldn't worry if we distributed patients: I'd have my patients and do only them, but management expects me to cater to all patients, including the ones from the lazy ones...

Im seriously thinking about becoming like them... I jut hope management doesn't yell a lot when I do that.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago

so how would a smart person react to this?

I would just start working the same way they do. If you're the only one with that work ethic and picking up their slack you're probably enabling them to be lazy because they know it will get done. If things stop getting done in a timely manner someone higher up may notice and do something about it then hopefully everyone will have to start contributing again. Also might be worth talking to your boss about it.

I'm not sure how common this situation is, but I'd assume different places have different work cultures. Looking for another job is a good idea, hopefully you'll find a place that's a better fit.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Nah, unless there's some type emergency going on, you don't have to worry about anyone but your assigned patients. Management can't write you up for not catering to patients who aren't under your care. If management complains, first of all it's ridiculous, and second - it's all talk. They don't have shit. Direct other patients to their assigned nurse.

I don't like being that person ("you'll have to talk with your nurse"), but some workplaces require it due to lack of fairness and teamwork. Otherwise you get taken advantage of. So don't feel bad.

And if management gives you shit and starts targeting you, talk to your union. Always have a paper trail. Or if no union, look elsewhere for better bosses to work for.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

I wouldn’t worry if we distributed patients: I’d have my patients and do only them, but management expects me to cater to all patients, including the ones from the lazy ones…

Don't overwork yourself for others. Help out if you want, but don't feel like you have to. If your boss reacts negatively, well, then it might be time to look for a move.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Define the expectations of how many patients you need to care for in one hour. Since there is more than one employee they can’t say you need to attend to all patients. So count all the patients, divide by the number of workers. And attend to that many in an hour.

Then you won’t be overworked and management can’t say you aren’t doing your job.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

If you are proud of your work, just keep doing it but not at stress levels of course. If it shits you that much move, but it will mostly be the same elsewhere.

Don't be pulled down and be a shitty person like they are.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You think you’re pissed off now, wait til you find out those slackers are making more money than you and will be promoted ahead of you because, well you do such good work, how would they ever find a good replacement?

This following sentences are something that took me years to fully internalize, thankfully it didn’t take more.

Nobody on their deathbed ever said “I wish I worked more unpaid overtime”. Nobody grieving at a funeral ever said “I wish I spent more time at work instead of with them”.

And nobody at your company ever said “I wish I paid you more”.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Pretty much all true. One exception was when my brother was the head of an it department. They didn’t pay him enough, he left, things fell apart. He met one of the main execs months later, can’t remember if it was the president of the company or one of the vp. Either way they said they wished they paid him more to stay , it would have been worth it.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Why is work so important for you? I think you'll find that a large number of people simply go through the motions because the stakes are low and their lives outside of work are more interesting. To them, it is an exchange of labor (that isn't valued anyway) for (not enough) money. Why push yourself at work when it simply doesn't matter? And what will drive you nuts later is that people from that "lazy" group will eventually end up promoted over you. The work is ultimately inconsequential, but the relationships built matter.

I don't really have an answer for you other than to introspect a little bit on your work ethic.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

They're a nurse, you don't think that's important?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Unrelated to your main question: you can try [email protected] or [email protected], and ensure you set language to Deutsch.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

work is important to me because I like having a roof, food and healthcare. I don't have the luxury of not having to work.

Are you saying that work is a place to dump your issues or what you did on the weekend to the point of not doing your job? This is something I find very odd. I don't want to work with people with this mindset.

Are you advising me to ignore patients when they call? cause that's what they do and if a job is simply inconsequential, why bother?

Are you also advising me to listen to them when they rant against greens (an ecologist party in Germany) or migrants? It's tiring and closeted racist.

I don't see how my work ethic is the wrong one, or how yours would be better. Better if I want to become a careerist? absolutely. Better if I want to feel good with myself? absolutely not.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I like having a roof, food and healthcare.

You live in Germany, you actually have the luxury to not work. Everyone gets a roof, food and healthcare, even without working.

Also, this is not an argument against your co-workers: if they do less than you, isn't your job safe then and everything is good?

I don’t want to work with people with this mindset.

Then you should stop working, because they will be everywhere to some degree.

Are you advising me to ignore patients when they call?

If your work is done, that's exactly what you do. Or if you're in the process of doing something else/handling another patient, idk how it works exactly. It's the responsibility of management to ensure that all patients get treated, not yours. You can and should of course report when this doesn't happen and you notice it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

answered like a 12 year old... hope you grow up

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So are you actually looking for advice and opinions from different mindsets or is this just an opportunity to vent and belittle anyone who doesn't have your "ethics". You claim you're a smart person but you completely missed the whole point of those group projects in school.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

there's asking genuinely and there's asking maliciously and writing absolute nonsense 'You live in Germany, you actually have the luxury to not work. Everyone gets a roof, food and healthcare, even without working.' like the member you defend.

If you consider this an example of a person worth having a discussion with, kudos to you, I'll pass.

But do please enlighten me, what's the whole point of those group projects in school?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The scariest part about this whole thing, you're a nurse. You know, a job that takes compassion and understanding, the ability to work with other professions and a team setting. Where you're not the soul care-provider for a patient but work in unison with others, this was the profession you chose to go down after constantly hating working with other people in school?!?

You stated, "When I work I like to do my job and then relax. To me, doing it the other way round is just stupid." This is purely a "YOU" problem. Obviously other people are still getting their job done, I guessed you also missed the "Hare and Tortoise Race" meaning in elementary school as well. (in case you need it, you're the hare sitting at the end of the race fuming and puffing upset)

This is your post, people have come on here to contribute and engage. A simple level of decorum is expected but instead it's hostility all the way down. You could've dispelled the previous members comment with factual information but you took the time to belittle instead of disengaging. You're a nurse with social anxiety, did no one in your entire time of training discuss bed manners? How did you avoid any actual understanding of what a nurses day is like (socializing) until it was too late? You literally just had to have one actual conversation with someone to find that out.

If socializing and navigating people was easy for you, this wouldn't be a problem. Again, this is a weakness that the group projects hoped to tackle. Learning how to engage and speak to people, finding out what their strengths and weaknesses are, learning how to encourage someone in their work versus constant discouragement because "you're just not doing it the way I want you to do it". Having the ability to get over yourself and let the group finish at the GROUP's pace, not your own. Is it a control issue? Are you just not confident that anything will get done unless it's the way you see it? Has nothing ever gotten done without your direct input in this world? Is there a way to resolve the inner-group conflicts without the need to involve outside interference (teacher/management).

Those are all reflection points that occur in an active group project. You did yourself and the others in those projects a disservice by not recognizing and addressing them. "the teacher forced me to work in a group with the lazier ones and I ended up either doing most of the job or became as lazy as them", maybe the teacher was hoping to hone some leadership skills in you they saw. Instead it was an "all my way or nothing" decision like you're constantly making now. You also reinforced in the other students, with your mentality, that they could control the narrative and either have you do the work or no one does the work (which might be happening now in your workplace). Again, that's a socializing short coming that you're not picking up on.

You do realize socializing is more than just gossip and political leanings right? That's just the facade of socializing, people just want to be heard and know you're willing to think of them as more than just another worker drone and they actually matter as a human being who's navigating this crazy world. It's part of being a team, respect for the individual, the small human personality stuff. I'm assuming you don't care about that though, it's just too much hassle with your short comings and how you've wired your brain.

I do imagine there's a perfect client out there for you, someone who doesn't want to talk and just needs you there for the job and only wants one full-time nurse. It would be like winning the lottery chances of luck, but I would rather see you and the person you're treating happy if you can't get over your issues.

tl;dr Good luck. If you can't read the passage above or reflect on it after wanting an explanation, then this is just a post for you to complain.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

Because ethics, morals and values, dude.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yup. I only do the work I'm paid for-- and I know what wages I'm supposed to be making if not for the capitalists suppressing a livable wage in damned near every field in the West right now. If I'm supposed to be making mid-upper five figures, if my wage rate is supposed to be between the 60k and 80k ranges, and I'm only pulling 45? Well, you're only getting 45k worth of work out of me regardless of what you say the workload is.

You will never see me slaving for c-suites, regardless of field, regardless of essentiality. Remind me of Primus's "HOINFODAMAN", I won't do it.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

Well, I don't know if this will help or not, but maybe a viewpoint from the other side would help.

Now, back when I was young, I was more like you, just eager to get in there and go. So I definitely get your perspective.

For many people, a job is something they have to do, and it is often on a schedule they would never choose.

Shifting from "real life" thinking and action to "I'm working" thinking and action can take more than just walking in the door, particularly if the shift hours don't match your internal clock (which is why I have been on both ends of your situation). Having time to shift gears into work thinking may be necessary for some people, and not a sign of laziness.

The early time of a shift is the only time it's realistic to do that.

Now, if they're leaving the work for others, that's just rude, and a violation of professional ethics since the patient always comes first. You can't putz around when patients need care. An hour is a very long time for that mental change as well, I would expect no more than enough time to drink a cup of coffee/tea/whatever.

There was one place I worked that factored it in. You start shift, then report for a sit down chart review, but were allowed to chat and socialize during that. Fifteen minutes, then you go to your area and handle the exchange of shift with the people on shift already. That usually takes about ten minutes with a realistic patient load.

Then, you go and do your patient checks or whatever other duties were in order for the shift you were on.

This was as a nurse's assistant in my case, but the nurses and other patient care staff did the same thing.

But it is also easy enough to see why people in general would end up taking longer without someone pushing them along via policy.

In your situation, there really isn't much you can do. You either do what you're already doing and hope it doesn't grind you down, or you follow the group and use the time to prepare for your shift and thereby make it so they have to step up when it's apparent you aren't going to cover for them. There's obviously differences in U.S. vs German nursing, but I would be very surprised if there wasn't paperwork or other things you could do while they socialize that would force them to do their part.

If there isn't paperwork, or charts, there's gotta be something like organizing and checking medications, stocking any carts with supplies, etc. That lets you do work that benefits you, while staying busy enough that everyone else will have to do their job because you're Andy already doing something. Before I ran out of steam from the mismatch I have with the predominant shift times, I would very often be found prepping the supplies for my shift instead of wasting time, and that meant other caregivers would have to answer their own room calls and such.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Why work when they don’t?

Try focusing on the patients. You work because the work is valuable.

Or, you can become lazy like your coworkers.

Decide which of those two paths is going to feel better for you.

Mainly, stop trying to find a world where everyone else is different. That’s not going to happen, and if that’s your criterion for happiness you’re not going to be happy.

One of the most profound and useful sayings ever is:

Virtue is its own reward.

It sounds naive, but it is not. It is the most practical advice I have ever heard of.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Your work ethic is your own. Don't let others bring you down to their level. If anything be a leader by lifting them up. Yeah nobody wants to be taken advantage of, I've been there. Quick personal story: my friend got me a job working for his parents business as he can't keep up with the work load. Turns out he is a lazy bum, job is easy he tells me I have to do all the work. I use my anger constructively. I do all the work without bitching. Get a hundred times better at it than him. Embarrass him in front of his parents. Get everything I want. Basically I run the show. Hopefully your supervisor sees your worth if not find someone who does. Good luck

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

I would rather be taken advantage of for what I am, than to stop being what I am.

This took me a long time to learn.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

You're being used, and your coworkers are more than happy to slack off and give the CEO the finger. The only reward for hard work is more work.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

You are letting yourself be exploited, look for a place that quickly notice your work culture and grand you a better pay / career.

Edit: how do I deal with it? I don't really care what other do, thigs that don't work are always on the higher ups, if my colleagues are having fun on the job, good for them!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, operating dangerously close to "work to rule" most days is a great way to minimize exploitation.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't understand what you were trying to say.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Within any job, there is what your role is on paper, and what you actually do over the course of a work day. Often times what you actually do is much more than "expected". Work to rule means that you stick explicitly to what your role is, and the way the company expects you to perform your duties. Or rather, what they expect on paper.

An example: Unionized employees will often "work to rule" as one of the first steps aimed at putting pressure on an employer to negotiate. It's an entirely legal thing to do, and serves to exemplify the disconnect between on paper job expectations (what you are paid for), and real expectations.

Thus, working as per your contract/job description with minimal deviation, will minimize how much you are exploited by ensuring you only do the work out are paid for.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

German office worker here. It can be the same, or some other way that drives you nuts. My current coworkers are just extremely slow. I mean really. They "work" all the time, but it takes them like an hour to write a short email. I usually get my days work done in an hour or two and then do my own stuff and will still have achieved more that day than the slow ones. So of course, I get more workload because "I get things done". I sometimes even secretly do their work because I like some of them and don't want them fired... The boss is prone to hiring idiots (I mean, look at the people he has, including me), so it's usually worse people coming in when someone leaves.

That said, your or my situation or variations of them are pretty much the norm. If you really want to put the work in, don't look at big offices or established companies. I guess some small places or startup might be the way to go. Or mobile nurse, where you have your own route and patients. And of course, if you like being overworked, there's always Amazon ...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

You lower your head and do your work. You're all adults and what they do is their biz.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Well me, I'm a waitress. If my coworkers don't wanna work I tell them to take the cut and go home, then I stay and make more money. And while they're there, if they wanna hide in the back instead of monitoring the floor, well, I shark their tables. Gotta work to make money, honey.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

This I think only makes sense in a tipping based system though

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (3 children)

resent forced socialization.

is anyone forcing you to socialize? If so, how are you forced?

And because I’m the only one with this job mentality, it’s always me the one who works while the rest do nothing.

That sounds to me like there are too many nurses then. If everyone can do nothing and you're the only one working, that must mean only one nurse is required, right? Did you inform your superiors about this?

I don’t want to work with people who slow me down.

How do they slow you down? It seems from your post like they just don't do much, how does that impact your speed exactly? You say while they talk, you can work. Isn't that the opposite of slowing you down, they're actually getting out of your way?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm not OP, but I'll go ahead and reply with some possible answers.

I'll also just use she/her pronouns (guessing op is a woman), as writing him/her may make my comment more tiring to read, and "they" may make it unclear whether or not i'm referring to OP or OP's colleagues.

is anyone forcing you to socialize? If so, how are you forced?

Shes not literally forced to socialise, but are likely dragged into situations where the consequences of not socialising are worse then just doing it against their will. E.g people getting in a bad mood or being snarky because OP doesnt put on a fake smile and unwillingly exchange pleasantries.

That sounds to me like there are too many nurses then. If everyone can do nothing and you're the only one working, that must mean only one nurse is required, right? Did you inform your superiors about this?

OP didnt exactly say that she has a low workload, and have an easy time completing all those tasks for others. OP is probably doing way more than is expected from one nurse, and may be headed for burnout.

How do they slow you down? It seems from your post like they just don't do much, how does that impact your speed exactly? You say while they talk, you can work. Isn't that the opposite of slowing you down, they're actually getting out of your way?

They're slowing her down because she has to do everyone elses work, thus leaving less time for completing her own tasks. This may also impact the quality of the work she's originally supposed to do.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

All valid points, however it seems like no productive conversation is possible with OP.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

80/20 must about everywhere , work places, volunteer organisations etc 20% of the people do 80% of the work.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

in your experience, do managers recognize and pay this 20%? This being nursing, I don't believe it's gonna be the case: this is a job nobody wants to do, reason why slackers get away not doing much.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It’s never been my experience in any job. A company doesn’t exist for your benefit, they exist to extract as much labor out of you for the least money.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

The lesson to be learned here is don’t over exert yourself for your job without clear reward—do the amount of work they pay you for. Unless you are in a leadership position, your primary responsibility as an employee is to yourself.

There are whole departments who are there to look after the company’s interest, but it is up to you to look after your own.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

The managers might recognize them but payroll decides pay and everyone's job code is the same to them. When I was a manager I could argue to try and get pay raises for my top performers but it usually didn't do much good. Firing the shitty ones also didn't help because it took months to get approval to hire a replacement.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

I can't speak for German work culture, but in America, you absolutely will get lazy workers in office jobs.

It's like 99:1 ratio of lazy workers to working workers. Unless you're on 3rd shift. Then you're the only one there.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Is this just the mornings or all day? Do they do any work? Does anyone hustle at any point in the day?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'd say this happens everywhere, with some exceptions maybe. Like I used to be in academia, it's generally a stressful environment since you are 100% responsibe for everything. There is freedom in that too, but stressful.

Now I work in an office. There are some that take any chance they get to relax for a bit, socialize, snd so on. I don't, I go there to work. I'm a bit introvert, so I don't socialize much, but I put in some effort not to appear antisocial, but that is it.

I like my work, as in the tasks I do give me some satisfaction. I do it for me. I don't socialize or relax at work because I happen to perfer the tasks. I know I'm lucky here, a lot of people do not get to work jobs like this. My collegues probably do not think the same way about their jobs, and I don't blame them.

What I don't get with what you are saying is the following. If everyone is "slacking off", you get to do your work. I suppose you are not in a position where doing the tasks are satisfying enough to you, and that is why you'd want the others to do the tasks as well. But if you don't get that satisfaction from doing the tasks, don't you sympathize with your coworkers? They too probably do not get the satisfaction they'd prefer from the job alone, just like you? The difference between you and them is maybe then in the desire to socialize at work.

If you, unlike them, do not have any way of getting some base level of satisfaction at work, by the tasks alone or by some other means, and instead start resenting them for trying to get that satisfaction, then if you have to opportunity to change your line of work may help. People will probably still be the same, but maybe you won't resent them?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

their first hour consists of looking for excuses to do nothing but talk with everyone around, whereas I prefer to finish my duties as soon as possible. During the other 7 hours, if somebody from another unit comes to ours, that's another excuse to do nothing for 10 minutes. If while checking vitals somebody gets a funny meme or video sent to her, another 10 minutes go to waste. Something that could be done in 15 minutes like serving food lasts 45. This is what grinds my gears.

And I just want to finish my duties and go home.

It is true that changing jobs might help, but it's also true if people are like this everywhere, I'm going to keep resenting them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

So you get to leave as soon as you are done? Do the others not get to do that?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

"When I work I like to do my job and then relax."

They like to do it the other way around. They do nothing, then something. You do something then nothing. Why do you feel that your way has to b the right way and everyone else is wrong?

Do your workload, and no more, and be fine with it, or move to another organisation with the same problem.

The goal is for you to be able to understand that people in this world are different to you and that is fine. As long as you aren't doing their job for them, it's all good. If you choose to do that, it is on you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Totally agree with you, but you’ll never get away from those people because that’s most people.

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