I went to school for Gastronomic Sciences and have worked with food justice and peasant/farmer movements for a couple years now.
The biggest issue with palm oil is that it's a cash crop produced through a monoculture, and that brings with it the destruction of local biodiversity and food ways, labor exploitation, and use of synthetic products for farming, with associated biodiversity loss and health risks for workers, who often used to be peasants who used to produce food that would be sold and bought by people in their communities, and who have been proletarianized by being pushed to work for the palm oil plantations that have taken over their land, most of the time "acquired" by land dispossession either by leveraging the legal system or by the use of armed militias to displace peasants under the threat of violence.
You can say the same about most coffee/cocoa/wheat/soybeans, but what makes palm oil particularly insidious is that it's like a cheat code for most processed foods, because it makes them have a much better mouthfeel, something you'd normally use butter or other seed oils for, but using palm oil is way cheaper to achieve the same result. So, a cheap production of palm oil using the land that would normally be used for local nutrition, using exploited labor, and traded from countries in the global south makes it the best option to achieve a "good", affordable processed food, because the externalities will not be included in the final price.
That being said, everyone I work with has no illusions about consumption habits single-handedly changing the global food system, that's some neoliberal cope, so if what you can afford has palm oil in it, or you want to get a treat that contains palm oil, it's not a moral indictment on you; It's a symptom of how broken food systems are, and how all actors of the food system need to collectively organize better and build parallel power structures to those that international trade and unequal exchange have built for the past hundreds of years.
There's something to be said about palm oil being an integral part of west African cuisine, and having been used for cooking there for thousands of years, but it is definitely a different kind of production and use to the one we see in the global north.
Sorry about the rambling and kind of shitty formatting, I wrote this on my phone so it is what it is.