this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I can't grow a full beard for shit and am thinking of looking into permanent removal

My stache though is hilarious, if I grow it out without the beard I instantly look like I've aged myself 40 years. Something not helped by the fact that my chosen look is suspenders on a tucked in button down and alternating on khakis vs jeans.

I look like microbrewery ned flanders.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago

Stupid sexy microbrewery Flanders

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I feel your pain. My "beard" makes Kyle Kulinski's patchy bro beard look like Gimli's.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Googles

Oh you poor thing, well I mean hey, the folks do be diggin' a clean face tho.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Yeah, it's a cycle. Beards go in and out of style. I'm not too worried about it. I'm old, married, and fairly apathetic about fashion anyway.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I too have some Joe Dirt DNA.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I can grow some pretty epic facial hair, but it's at the cost of most of the hair on my head.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I'm so confused. I'm just imagining you clean shaven, and a full head of fabio hair. But then you stop shaving, and the hair starts growing out of your face, but the longer your face hair gets, the shorter your head hair gets. Until eventually you're totally bald up top.

Yes, my imagination IS very cartoonish.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Whilst that would be a fascinating pickle to be in, I meant I'm bald.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My brother is balding and has full facial hair. I have a full head of hair, but can't grow anything beyond an embarrassing teenage stache.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This feels like an unaired pilot for a 70s comic book saterday morning superhero show.

"WITH THEIR RINGS COMBINED, THEIR HAIR GROWS IN MODERATION!!! THEY ARE, BABYFACE JOHN, AND BALD JOHNSON!!!"

Ok, definately need new names. I was trying to go for "John Johnson", except you're both two half of it......

But somehow I made your brother into a name that sounds like a well cleaned penis.

My username makes sense now, doesn't it?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Thanks to Veet I do have a bald johnson if that helps...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

He's full of play-doh.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

If comment-OP concentrates for a minute, they can "flex" inward. Their Fabio-hair is drawn inwards and so is their facial hair until they seem completely clean-shaven. Then with a gasp they open their mouth and a long vine of hair spews out to strike down their enemies. Once the villains are downed, they can "flex" the hair back in through their mouth, and push it out of their head and face like before to look totally normal. They're planning to become a superhero soon, but they just can't think of a good hero name.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Me too, but the last time I tried it, it came in fully white on just one side. What the hell, face?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If it helps, my beard was super patchy underneath the 3 feet of hair that completely covers it up if it still is. Growing facial hair for most people is about being able to get through the patchy part. Movember helps if you want social cover. By the end of that month, if it still looks bad, you can decide then if it's worth continuing or shave it off when everyone else does. Secretly, that is pretty much the whole point of movember, a socially sanctioned event where no matter how bad it looks, you aren't supposed to shave it off. And it's for awareness of men's health issues. But mostly the first thing, hehe.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

When did "no shave november" shorten to "movember?" I missed that one (though tbf I've been doing "no shave 15yr" so I don't watch closely lol).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

If I grow out my beard I look like a hobo. Its fine hair that's not dense enough, light colored, and wily AF. My moustache looks like a pedo stache too. I rock a good chin strap and stubble stache though!

I've always loved the idea of having a good beard, shame it just doesn't work well for me the way I'd like.