The Onion

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submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Do a flip!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago

Please, old friend, don't jump! Use another method that won't damage your liver. Other people need it, you know.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

At press time, reports confirmed firefighters had arrived to carry the man to the top floor.

He was lucky to have such good people supporting him to succeed.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

I can only hope I'll be so lucky.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"The people who love you want you dead, not injured!”.

That's... Actually a very valid concern.