this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

Please, old friend, don't jump! Use another method that won't damage your liver. Other people need it, you know.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At press time, reports confirmed firefighters had arrived to carry the man to the top floor.

He was lucky to have such good people supporting him to succeed.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I can only hope I'll be so lucky.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"The people who love you want you dead, not injured!”.

That's... Actually a very valid concern.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Having been a person that cares for people afterward, 100%. It's one of the few things keeping me from attempting again; the only thing worse than being alive is being stuck halfway.