this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 108 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was once involved in a business enterprise with a man who wasn't a native speaker

I had talked to a child about buying some of our stuff, and he was psyched about it and went off to fetch a parent to complete the transaction

I was talking with my colleague about it in the interim, and said of the kid "he was sold" as a way of summarizing his receptiveness to my pitch about our products

My colleague became very alarmed. What do you mean, sold? Who bought him? What do you mean?

It took a while to explain.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

"well the kid is sold, now I just gotta sell the parents too"

[–] [email protected] 64 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"Roll acrobatics, I guess."

"Natural 20!"

"Ok... You contort your body in ways that no humanoid creature should be able to, and successfully fit inside the jar.

"Can I get everyone else to make a Wisdom saving throw, please?

"Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh.

"Ok, everybody else now thinks you're a djinni."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If the whole door is a jar, it's probably easy to fit in.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Well, how big is a djinis front door?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

Depends on the size of the djinni. Not all of them are enslaved in lamps and such, you know!

[–] [email protected] 60 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Later the rogue was eaten by a gazebo. :)

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Thank you, I tried to search “gazebo problem” and didn’t come up with anything

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

The gazebo is in the right, the rogue shot first

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

I thought it was Eric the Paladin. I remember because I have a ttrpg friend named Eric who we mocked in a friendly way about that story.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Ah, but you did not know if it was open or not.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

just tabaxi things

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

that's just me playing Zork

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

The door is slightly ajar.

Okay... but like... how much ajar?

Umm... a little bit.

So which little bit is ajar?

Huh?

The top, the bottom, the middle, the inside, the outside or the handles?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes, the Gazebo problem.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

"I attack the gazebo."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Teenage me pronouncing "braziers" as "brassieres" and my players wondering what the fuck I was talking about.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Hilarious that I was listening to https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zJ69ny57pR0 when this post popped on my tiny display thing

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Jazz Emu is a perfect human being

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for sharing this, just subscribed!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

No problems, Jazz Emu is a very underrated artist and deserves more attention.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

This can happen with new players who are native English speakers too, as D&D has a fair deal of vocabulary not everyone knows. Words like charisma and melee really got popularized by D&D.

Deep cut here: When I was a kid (ages past) and first heard friends talk about D&D, I thought there was a lens to keep you on the border. And without it, you might go straight Into The Unknown.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

More like Bill Hicks on acid playing dnd…

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

"Your party is walking along when you come upon a wizard in a jar. Do you let him out?" (h/t to Adam Savidan.)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Im pretty sure I saw this as a visual gag in a Muppet Babies comic book in the 80s! I think it was issue #13… I might still have it packed away somewhere