this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Real men only drink the meat juice they spoon out of the bottom of the pack of raw hamburger because they think it's blood.

Real men are also 32% intestinal parasite by volume, as nature intended.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Grabbing a pound of ground beef from a mildewy 7-Eleven refrigerator and sucking it out of a Big Slurpee cup through a straw.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago

geordi-no Myoglobin

geordi-yes Ouroglobin

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Real alpha males can have a little citric acid, as a treat

[–] [email protected] 51 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Isn't having your wife bring you a glass of lemonade after you mow the lawn a classic RETVRN fantasy?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

I was writing an essay about the difference between Andrew Tate, female dating strategy, and the RETVRN types, but I started to think about how all of them have a bunch of prescriptions for what men consoom, how they emote, and how they engage with society. I think the difference in opinion on what men consoom is negligible between the different subfactions.

I don't think a leftist movement has a good alternative to offer a disaffected politically agnostic young man who wants a relationship besides the opportunity to cleanly disengage with people who are demanding they stop drinking lemonade, but you didn't really ask that. Perhaps in that case, when a RETVRN type is trying to tell men that in their utopia women will step back in line and be obedient, it's just important to always be ready to tell people that fascism has always been obsessed with aesthetics and it never sits flush with reality so while we don't have a good answer, it's better than an actively harmful answer that brings you further from what you want.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago

Hot babe comes out with a pitcher of lemonade while I'm wiping the sweat off my brow from mowing the lawn: No thanks "sweetheart" lemonade is for WOMEN.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Lemonade is the most socialist sweet drink

I don't need to explain

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Oh great! What am I supposed to make with all these lemons life is giving me?!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Rub em' in the wounds of your enemies! Raaaaaaaaah!!!! barbarian

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

How could I forget Cave Johnson and his excellent lemon advice!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Somehow at work, lemon in various form has made it's way all over the menu and so I've genuinely got some solutions to your joke problem! Zest it and nix the zest with a bunch of salt and sugar, mix regularly while drying and you got like a sweet lemony salt thats good sprinkled on lots of stuff, slice the peels up thin and long and simmer them in oil and you got lemon conditioner, and the lemon oil can be used to make a solid lemon aioli, you can make a pretty dope dressing with 1/3 lemon juice 2/3 olive oil and a bunch of salt and pepper mixed up, and you can just eat a lemon.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Bookmarked for later because all that sounds de-licious!

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago (1 children)

please somebody tell me what list of approved manly drinks is

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

1.) BEER

2.) Whisky

3.) Liquid death

4.) Raw milk

5.) Room temperature water

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago

Fuck that water shit. REAL men drink mountain dewwwwwwwwwwww

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

4.) Raw milk

what, like a baby cow?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No, from your tradwife duh

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago

oh god fuck you now i remembered the breast milk ice cream dude :data-laugh:

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

As a man, you should only drink whiskey, never whisky which is a liquor for effeminate peoples (scots etc)

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Oh no, in Colombia we only have kilt-wearing girl whisky kitty-cri-screm

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

is rum manly? we have rum

pirates drank rum

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

oh shit oh damn :ohnoes:

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago
  1. The juice from RAW chicken because REAL MEN aren't afraid of bird flu
[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yes, I'm a man. That means I drain my styrofoam tray of raw chicken into a glass and add some spritz for a manly sparkling myoglobin.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Now why would a man want a sparkling drink?

You know what else sparkles? Glitter. No real man would be caught dead in the same room as glitter.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

when life gives you lemons, take a shot of whiskey like a REAL MAN

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Honestly trying American lemonade and American tea for the first time was an experience. Why is there so much sugar (or I guess high fructose corn syrup) in this drink?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Depends on who is making it. Everything store bought will be super sweet. I make my lemonade sour

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It was an immigrant from Chicago, but she said she preferred "southern style" whatever that means. Pulled out iced tea with like a week's worth of my regular sugar intake in the pitcher.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Southern tea is absurdly sweet, it's more normal in other places. I did think lemonade was sugary everywhere tho.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

sugar (or I guess high fructose corn syrup)

IT ALL TASTES LIKE METAL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thank god we don't have this problem in the UK

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

warf-wtf a warrior's drink

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

I miss working at a place that was also a juice bar, I figured out an amazing recipe for close enough to lemonade. Lemons mostly, a couple basil leaves and a bit of carrot juiced. Pour it over shaved ice. Best cooking in a hot kitchen drink ever if they also throw in some vodka

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

why are you …

Because it’s delicious thats why. Imagine having such a fragile grip on being a man, whatver the fuck that even means, that you are bothered by a man drinking lemonade.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

a traa post, in cth? more likely than you think :thonk:

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