"Celery tastes like water" is somwthing people only say because they heard other people say it. It clearly does not

Celery is peak, fight me

Rhubarb: now when you bit the water with hair in it, it tastes sour.

I don't know how people eat it, it tastes so horrible

Better than just sticking my finger in the blue cheese dressing tho…

Celery is delicious and I will die on that hill

Mmmm crunchy water.

This is only true of the celery you find in grocery stores.

Grow some in your garden, you’re in for a world of flavor you never knew existed

At least it's also salty.

I "peel" celery like how I peel a potato. So basically peel off the stringy part. Then I cut them diagonally or at a 45° angle. I then stir fry them with carrots and string peas and baby corn and shallots with some garlic and salt.

It's so crunchy and fresh tasting.

Damnit I wish I had some good shit to flavor my stew with.

Glances at Mirepoix

And have it taste like eating shampoo or some other chemical soup not to be left within reach of children.

Growing your own celery is a game changer. Most produce we get in the store is hopelessly bland.

Celery loses most of it's flavor quickly after harvest. When it's actually fresh it's extremely tasty.

The smell of raw celery makes me nauseous, especially when cut. Cooked in things I find the texture off-putting and tasteless, compounding the unwanted crunch added to something that shouldn't crunch.

Nature's dental floss!

Even Doctor Who doesn't like it, and he wore celery as a brooch for years.

cut celery into large chunks, put some olive oil, pop it into the oven and take it back when it starts to char and soft. mix it with mushroom saute (and stir fried beef if not vegetarian)

Battery water

But have you tried the crunchy water with peanut butter and rasians