this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have done this, and the only thing I regretted is not eating more olives.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I run out of olives, then tell myself not to do it, but still sneak a sip of juice from the jar.

"You're disgusting."

"DON'T YOU JUDGE ME, ME!"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Fun fact - a sip or two of pickle juice is a great cure for heartburn. I don’t even like pickles, but I’ll do it because it works.

I can’t stand olives, even more than I dislike pickles, so idk if olive juice would do the same, but it is, at least, not grosser from an objective view 😅

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Drinking pickle juice is a dangerous game. Misjudge your jar tilt and one of those slippery bois will just shoot down your gullet and shuffle you off this mortal coil in the blink of a cucumber.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Had this for dinner last night. Paired it with some tortilla chips to help round out its nutritional value. Might do it again tonight. It's called The Mediterranean Diet.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It tastes like the Mediterranean too!

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Me eating an entire can of chickpeas with a spoon

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

I am Italian and I approve this message

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I don't see how this is a shitpost, it's just unironically a great thing to do.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How much did big olive pay you to say this

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

I'd love to eat big olive

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah, they're delicious, nutritious, and never go bad. Perfect for the man who does not like grocery shopping.

Are the haters imagining people eating the super-salty pimiento olives? I'm talking about the fancy olives that I, as a sophisticated and wealthy bachelor, buy per-pound from the grocery-store salad bar.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE OLIVES JUST SHOVE THEM INTO MY MOUTH OM NOM NOM OH GOD THEY'RE DELICIOUS SO TASTY MMMMMMM GOOD OLIVES NICE OLIVES CHOP THEM UP AND PUT THEM ON PIZZA AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE OLIVES THEN FUCK YOU OLIVES ARE DELICIOUS YOU CAN FUCK OFF BACK TO BIG LINGUINI TRYING TO RUIN THE NAME OF DELICIOUS OLIVES THEY ARE MY LIGHT AND JOY OLIVES ARE SO GOOD I CANNOT HELP MYSELF I WILL EAT ONE OR TWO OR A THOUSAND I AM BECOME OLIVE

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

i'm starting to think that you might like olives

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm not falling for this. I think I've read a greentext about doing this and the anon ended up covered in shit sobbing himself to sleep on the bathroom floor

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (5 children)

People get sick from eating olives? Man I can eat a jar of green olives, pair it with a brick of cheddar cheese and you've got yourself a meal.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

That was a jar of pickles and it caused him great gastrointestinal issues that resulted in acid like bowel movement.

This reaction isn't normal though.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

About 3 months ago I suddenly developed an indefatigable craving for olives. Since then I've eaten about a small jar a week. IDK if I'm pregnant (seems unlikely) or if olives are just a normal part of adulthood, similar to how everyone in college eats a lot of toast on occasion.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

tempted to post the classic 4chan pickle story

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

How many olives should you eat?

Olive them.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (6 children)

If you have the occasion, try a fresh olive picked from the three. You won't regret it ;)

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Why not eat the other too?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

This won reply is my favorite.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Literally my kids everyday. They fucking LOVE olives. It’s weird. We don’t encourage it and we tell ourselves it’s a phase that will eventually wear off.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

It won't. I'm in my late 30s and olives are still the fucking best thing ever.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Marinate them in a bit of vodka for a relaxing evening repast

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fun fact: olives are technically fruit.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

More fun facts: tomatoes and pineapples are berries.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, pineapple is a bunch of berries fused together.

Unrelated : avocado is a berry.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Subscribed to fruit and berry facts

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, ate a (large) bunch of green olives in quick succession once. Turned my stomach into Vesuvius during Pompeï's final moments.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sometimes when I'm backed up having a way to clear the pipes is nice. There are few things I enjoy more than a blast from the ass.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, I'll happily eat 10 olives as part of a salad, or 20 straight-up as a snack. You've gotta rinse them off first, though. Also, the cheap brands are less oily and salty.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Rinse them? I spear them right out of the jar. I love 'em. I'll try rinsing one today to see what that's like, but I suspect the oil and salt is a big part of why I like them.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Please🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 Where is Olivehate when I need them??????

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Boooo

Long live the Olive! Glory to the Olive empire!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I have never in my life seen soo much unequivocally olive positivity. What is this place

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

There's a secret to liking olives. You have to keep eating them until you pass the gross-bliss barrier. I used to hate olives, but now they're like crack to me.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I came across The Sad Bastard Cookbook on HN. It is amazing and very much in the spirit of this post.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Are you 30 to 50 feral hogs?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Right out of the jar with your fingers? Wtf?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Today's been an enlightening day, I learned people like to eat tons of olives alone. I can't even stand them in pizza.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Girl dinner! Girl dinner!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Regret? Never with olives 🫒.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

This reads like the beginning of an I Think You Should Leave sketch

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