It's even worse with snake oil salesman and AI.

A guy built an AI model (i.e. wrote a prompt for the ChatGPT API) which generates fantastic looking offline test results for a problem. He promised the execs this will drive significant growth, so he's on the fast track straight to the top and definitely got some nice bonuses. All his projects get big teams and resources.

I looked at the "projected" numbers, they make no sense, it's just straight up made up numbers. It solves a problem nobody actually has, so nobody actually uses the output. The real usage numbers are abysmal.

Doesn't matter, we're counting on this for growth, haven't I seen the model scores he demo'd?!

“Executive presence”

Give us one more story please! 🍿

So much shit happened there I could write a book about it.

Please do! Or at least a series of blog or fediverse posts.

That feeling when you've finally found your spirit animal and it turns out to be a middle manager who's only slightly better looking than the previous president..

I think I'm due for my next job.

If you do tell them you’d need a completely unrealistic scenario for that project to hit a good number then one of two things will happen:

“well you need to think of changes to those projects to get there, that’s what we’re paying you for”

or “you haven’t considered that X initiative will massively boost the numbers, so we’ll easily hit our goal” with X being some project a self aggrandizing jackass confidently promised will deliver absurd results and now leadership loves them (currently that’s anyone saying to add AI to stuff that very much doesn’t need it). If this happens just wash your hands of it and document it as a key growth factor.

The goal of these meetings is often to justify projects that leadership has already agreed on, don’t want to be challenged on, and are simply looking for the numbers they can put on a slide and parade to the board or investors.

It’s a very hard sell to convince them to drop or realistically modify projects. There are execs who will listen to the numbers, but I’m finding them increasingly rare now that everyone is in greedy self preservation mode.

My worst example: a company brought me on to validate and provide recommendations for a big project that was struggling. I looked at the numbers, the margins were always going to be terrible, it needed massive economy of scale and to be successful (always always a red flag!), cost a lot to make, and the revenue numbers were forecast to be low thousands a year. I told the CEO and execs this project was doomed, drop it and focus elsewhere, but they felt it would be a huge breakout success, making up a significant portion of corporate revenues, and the numbers were irrelevant (so why did they hire me?).

They still offer that product, it still definitely makes no money.

They just get someone to fire you if you do that.

“He’s coming, guys… hide! …omg he’s gonna be so surprised when he walks out on that balcony!”

Well if the boss would quit sexting with an egurl all the time maybe he could have helped out with the whole ent thing

Yeah but middle-manager orc was immediately on board. As soon as he knew he wouldn't have to take responsibility he was just a yes-orc.

At least this time Saruman(c-suite for sure) didn’t catch a golden parachute from the board on his way out the door to guide(Sabatoge) another kingdom(company)

Just like how all public companies focus on the quarterly numbers and nothing else. No one gives a shit about next year or even next quarter. It's always "how much money are we making in the next 3 months, all else be damned."

"Always you must meddle, looking for trouble where none exists." -David Calhoun, CEO, to John Barnett, Quality Control