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The soft life: why millennials are quitting the rat race (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

116 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Ambition once came with a promise: a home, a salary, progress and fulfilment. What happens when that promise is broken? Meet the women who are turning their backs on consumerism, materialism and burnout

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[–] [email protected] 158 points 7 months ago (8 children)

Completely ridiculous that they quoted Kim Kardashian...

The soft life approach is not without its critics. In 2022, Kim Kardashian infamously claimed that women need to “get your fucking ass up and work” as “it seems like nobody wants to work these days”. She was forced to apologise – after it was pointed out that coming from a rich, already-famous family in LA would have its advantages in the job market.

But I never liked how this movement picked up the name "lazy girl job". Bros can be lazy too...

I could have pulled in 6 figures after the Navy, but it would have been a shitty job that I fucking hated.

So I went back to school, got a degree that interests me, did that for a few years, then got a cushy decently paid office job that didn't care what my degree was about.

I'm not maximizing my income, but I also essentially get UBI because I'm a disabled vet.

I'm basically living the progressive dream. And if everyone got the stuff I did, we'd be happier and more productive as a society. Along with a shit ton less crime, because people have something to lose.

Our current hyper capitalist society only works for people like Kim Kardashian that start out wealthy and connected, and those idiots constantly insist the only reason they're wealthy is they work harder. I was doing manual labor before I was a teenager. There's no way in hell Kim has worked a single day harder then I did as a child, but she legitimately believes she busts her ass, all the wealthy elites do.

Because they're surrounded by people they pay to tell them what they want to hear, and everyone else is a "hater".

[–] [email protected] 43 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Kim Kardashian is only rich because she sucked a dudes dick and made a sex tape of it, pretty much with the hopes it would be leaked and make her famous.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 7 months ago (2 children)

It wasn't even her plan...

She was Paris Hilton's assistant (still no idea why she needed an assistant) when her sex tape legitimately leaked, and Kim saw her go from an fairly anonymous rich girl to nationally famous overnight.

And wanted to follow suit.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

To be fair, plenty of sex tapes have leaked or "leaked" with a lot of noise over the years, very few people have translated them to massive wealth (games, reality shows, modelling, branding, appearances etc). Whoever is managing them (their mum perhaps?) is very smart in at least that they know how to leverage opportunity, and they're smart enough to listen to that person.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Her father was also one of the highest-earning crim defense lawyers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

Who became famous for being a defense lawyer for the most watched murder trial in history.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

She's famous because her parents were famous, and her family made a pointed campaign to continue making money off of reality tv and being proto-influencers.

Like it or not, a lot of people genuinely enjoy reality TV as entertainment and having characters to watch and gossip about. Kim K is in the entertainment industry.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Same ship, different service. The safety net affords me the ability to find what I really want to do without tying my life to a single job or place.

I also think that it can be brought to other citizens through other community activities. Why don't we offer similar incentives to teachers? 10yr of teaching in exchange for UBI. Or doctors. Or rebuilding the crumbling infrastructure.

I'm guessing that your VA/service income doesn't just go straight to savings either. A lot of it goes right back into the economy through purchasing and associated taxes paid on those things. At least mine does.

The US military is the largest socialist organization in the world and I wish they would extend that to the rest of its citizens without the downside of PTSD, death, and a lifetime of physical and mental ailments.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's essentially BAH lol.

Every year it goes up, and every year I make it my new monthly payment for my mortgage.

The US military is the largest socialist organization in the world

I say this all the time, it's 100% true.

The vast majority of our issues would disappear if everyone got that stuff. And we could pay for it all just be taxing the 1% of wealthiest people and corporations.

The only reason to not want it, is if those wealthy people give you a shit ton of money to not want it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I've thought this for a while, but maybe our service to country isn't done with a DD214. The current situation in the US and world at large makes me think I can still do some good. Maybe politics needs more people who think like you and me.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

I got told once in the military:

If you don't want to be in charge of a bunch of idiots, one of those idiots is gonna be in charge of you.

And it's pretty accurate, even on the civilian side.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Politics definitely needs people who think like both of you.

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[–] [email protected] 115 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My biggest regret in life was working hard for an employer who didn't care for me. I now work in public sector and know that I am making the world a better place, and that pleases me. I got out of the rat race and now have some level of comfort.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm glad to hear that you're doing better. I've found that public sector can be more stressful in some domains, because of how overstretched services are nowadays, but like you say, at least you're striving for more than just lining someone else's pocket

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

I am also in a good position--I work in higher education, so not quite the same as state or local government, which has different challenges.

[–] [email protected] 93 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Why run if there's no more a carrot dangling from the string?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And the treadmill is accelerating on top of that as well.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And there was never a carrot in the first place. It was a turd painted orange

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's multi-pronged:

why put in effort for companies that will run you into the ground to save a fraction of a %, give you "raises" that don't even cover inflation and never adjust to market rates, or will fire you at will?
why work hard when the social contract has been severed; when the entire system is designed to funnel wealth to the richest, and return the working class to a feudalist underclass of renters.
why save for a future family when you can't ever have housing or economic security, and the system is hellbent on maintaining the status quo despite the fact it may create a lifetime of famine, war, and suffering for the children we already can't afford.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

why work hard when the social contract has been severed;

There never was this. We had strong unions from the 1930s until the late 1970s. Since then, it's been non-stop capitalism fests.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

That's because the job wasn't finished. People thought we could negotiate with capitalists.

Sure you can get a peace deal, just like you can get one with putin. The 1% kept soaking up the stolen surplus labor value, and have used that power and wealth to take us right back to the gilded age. when the time comes, no reforms... just a new way of life. We tried reforms yall. It did not work

[–] [email protected] 82 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I think millennials and zoomer are just being open and honest about things that always happened. We love labels and with the Internet talks with other like-minded people. There have always been people who worked 9 to 5 at a job and prioritized stability over money. We are being open and bragging about it. We just want to break the hustle culture that was always a loud subset

For example my dad a peak boomer worked at the same company for his whole career and turned down "promotions" that gave a manager title with little more money. They have always been there

[–] [email protected] 89 points 7 months ago (2 children)

The problem is, you used to be able to comfortably live that life. Now if you stay at the same company, your wages won't increase at a rate to sustain your life style. Companies care way more about acquiring talent than retaining talent, so you need to move around to make enough money

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

And this is why being part of a bargaining class/union is important, none of this making less than new hires doing the same thing, your wages go up with the cost of living so even if you don't get raises, you still don't fall behind inflation

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I know. But that was the equivalent of jumping every few years to a similar but slightly paying more role. Not grinding to get the biggest promotion and title as possible.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

At some point, you end up wanting some stability and the constant jumping gets old. Perhaps you finally hit a target salary that makes you go "well I guess that's enough".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Except that you wont get eaises to that salary to maintain your current atandard of living. Getting a 2% annual raise with 4% annual inflation is an annual pay cut. They only way to maintain the current standard is to get a new job every few years, or just quit playing the game.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (4 children)

You can get stability through community and friendship. The idea that you need a big salary makes sense because of how we have been raised, to live independently in little units, and it's scary to switch to a less independent life, but it is possible.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think millennials and zoomer are just being open and honest about things that always happened.

This is partially true, but things are actually worse than they used to be in some ways and better in others. I think that, more than anything, the conditions have accelerated a bit more.

I was born in 1976. I remember managers being completely toxic assholes--that was just how it was. But, when I was a kid, there were still pensions--you worked 40 years for a company and they took care of you. I think that both of these things are gone--managers can't really get away with being as cruel as they used to, though I know that's out there. Also employees don't expect a graceful exit at the end of their career.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Millennials and gen z know things are worse, and that's why we don't feel like it's worth it to give everything to a company. We don't have to pretend because we know the employers know things are bad.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Companies expect you to slog your guts out for the false promise of a reward. But being a hard worker, at least in my environment, just means you get the hardest work.

I've had the biggest pay rises by changing job. There's no reason to be ambitious and stay loyal to a company that will run you ragged and offer very little in return.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (7 children)

Unfortunately that's only really true for white collar work. Most factory/trade schmucks like myself get massive pay cuts when we move jobs...

I've been in the same cycle for almost 15 years now... Work 5 years, get raises, have to move, huge pay cut, work 5 years, get back to first exit salary, have to move, huge pay cut, etc etc...

I get sooooo bitter when I see already well paid people talk about getting 30-40% more when changing jobs... Like good for them, but man are things not even in that respect at all. :(

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

It's also really hard to jump when you work a niche job. The pay is basically flat no matter where you go and there isn't really anywhere to turn.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 7 months ago

I don't think that people voluntarily give up, I believe that they are more burnt out etc than ever

[–] [email protected] 40 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Once again this X-er is cheering for how aware Millennials and Zoomers seem to be compared to how oblivious I was through my first several decades. Trying to figure out a (non-catastrophic) way out of the rat race myself.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Speaking as a child of the late 1970s, this was my experience. We had nobody to look at or talk with this about, it was just Boomers being Boomers and pretending that 1995 was no different than 1975. They really just expected us to hustle and get ahead, when THEY WERE THE ONLY GENERATION IN HISTORY THAT THIS WORKED FOR. It took the 2000 and 2008 crashes before people could actually speak about it.

Make no mistake: the world is now a better place BECAUSE people are talking about this.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

They didn't even hustle. Boomers grew up in basically the only industrialized country that hadn't been bombed to fuck. Good jobs fell into their laps.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (16 children)

My job is cozy and not too stressful. Its a shame I will have to quit in a few years once inflation catches up again. I'd stick around if wages stay livable but that's a strech.

Still living paycheck to paycheck but it seems best I can do. Worse, im afraid if getting pushed up to the bosses seat. Im not trying to move up unless its life changing money. I don't know the pay, but I dealt with being on call before and that was hell. Last thing I need is to burn out , I don't know if I can live through that again.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (6 children)

wasn't the Xer stereotype a slacker that did not really run the race?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (3 children)

This is because the parents of Boomers invested in their children but Boomers did not invest in their children. We were shat out and expected to get a job and "just do it" without support.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Yeah, but that stereotype was only because we didn't have families or places of our own to take care of yet. We got older and almost all of us (not me, tho) joined the race alongside everyone else.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

Getting laid off from my tech job was both the scariest and most freeing moment in my life. It's been over a year now and I've transitioned into doing just a few hours of contract work.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

It's really all about defining what "success" means. And "Ambition". I've always looked at "ambition" as a negative trait, at least among my peers in the workplace. Someone who is ambitious will not hesitate to step on me if it gets them further up the ladder. But someone who is happy in the role they have, and doesn't always have their focus on the next thing, will be a much better team player.

That doesn't mean having no goals whatsoever, or never learning anything new. But it does mean establishing your own goals, that bring you your own fulfillment. And if they don't coincide with what your boss wants, that doesn't make you a bad person, it might just make the job a bad fit.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

The social contract was broken decades ago. What is the point of trying to build up society when that society is constantly moving the goalposts? Society wouldn't be able to function if everyone was a doctor or lawyer or hedge fund manager, why do we act like people who earn less than 100k a year don't deserve a house, access to education, access to healthcare, and access to healthy food and clean water?

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