this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 91 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Nuclear hellfire? Don't you threaten me with a good time

TIE ME TO THE MISSILE AND FIRE ME AT MOSCOW

[–] [email protected] 77 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 7 months ago

Fun fact: For Oliver Stone’s Putin documentary, the two of them sat and watched Dr. Strangelove, on camera. It was as tense and awkward as you might expect.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Your (rambo?) meme crashed my shit, all up in their shit.

[–] [email protected] 86 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 72 points 7 months ago (1 children)

So take a nap.

THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Dam, taht is a sweeett earth

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Lol...it's been a few years

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (4 children)

What miserable assholes downvoted you?

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Germany doesn't have nukes tho. The nukes in the country are all American property.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Same goes for Belgium, Italy, and Turkey. But I won’t let that interfere with my appreciation for the meme.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Officially we don't. We merely have American military bases with American planes and suspicious payloads that the government refuses to comment on.

I've wondered what that would mean in practice in different scenarios. If NATO command structure was atomized (RIP the city of Mons, no-one really liked you but thanks for the sacrifice o7), would the Belgian army make the call to fire ze missiles anyway? Or does the highest-ranked American make that call?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What is wrong with Mons? How did that ancient city hurt you?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Real answer: nothing, just regional banter

Noncredible answer: That terrible, poor, almost-french city hasn't managed to finish its train station in decades (it's 1000 % over budget and 10 years late). This demonstrates why their population has therefore rightly been declared as expandable to protect Brussels.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Fair. Bye, Mons.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Expandable? What ya fuckers set up a breeding program there? The Canadians are right Belgians really as are disgusting creatures.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And missed off is the UK which has it's own nukes^*

^* please ensure all targets are kept within a 500m radius of the firing submarine.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Does the firing sub also count as a target?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I'm surprisingly OK with that...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

As long as Boeing hasn't contributed to D&R..

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

For now. If Trump withdraws the US from NATO all bets are off.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 7 months ago (2 children)

yay mutually assured destruction!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Russian oligarchs can't spend their money in a nuclear wasteland. Putin's gonna fall down some flights of stairs if he tries anything funny.

Also, the last time a Russian was told to deploy the nukes, he didn't - which was good, because the order was a fluke.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Technically it want an order but malfunctioned alert system. He made a good guess that it's just a glitch and neglected the protocol which saved millions and countries but he got a warning for not following the protocol... Just another day at military I suppose.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Context matters. If there are no escalations happening in world politics, why would there suddenly be an order to launch?

If the same glitch happened while Russian leaders are going hint hint nudge nudge towards their nuclear arsenal, would that operator do the same thing?

Maybe the worst thing about nukes isn't that the button will be pressed on purpose, but that some damn fool thing will happen on accident and things happen before anyone can take stock of the situation.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No idea what you're taking about tbh. As I said there was no order and it was during cold war iirc. Not sure what you mean by Russian leaders using glitch as an excuse. If it happened there would be no one left to blame.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I mean that right now, Putin is in a war where he's actively reminding the rest of the world that they have nukes to use. If an order comes down to launch now, that's different than an order that comes down when nothing else is happening.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Yes but I want taking about it? I was replying to someone who mentioned the cold war incident

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

This is why phrasing is so important... because I did not remember all that, but phrased myself so that you would do the web search...

...THE POWER~!

Thanks though ^; it's pretty wild to think that almost on a fluke, we'd be living in nuclear winter right now.

Like histories dumbest and most impactful "whoopsie doodle".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

He made a decision of the kind you generally have to make when working with systems which can cause mass destruction by design or by error. I'm pretty sure many other people have done similar things in USSR and in USA and in France etc

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Also, the last time a Russian was told to deploy the nukes, he didn’t - which was good, because the order was a fluke.

WDYM by deploy?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Probably the wrong choice of words. "Launch" is probably the correct word.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

They're all MAD

[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Germany is on there but not the UK? Stop nerfing our ego!

[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I thought you guys joined the US with Brexit

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Soon...

If we cut Scotland off from the pack I bet we can beat the EU's offer.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Our nukes strike fear into anyone who happens to be within a couple hundred meters of our launch sites while not wearing a good helmet.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

My nuke is SHINY AND CHROME