I still think it's possible that in 2016 the Republicans told him they were hiring him to play the President in a mockumentary.

Lol "a" war crime.

I used to work for a company that wrote the software used by Clerks of Court in Louisiana. It was niche software because Louisiana is the only US state whose legal system is derived from the French, so the companies that write software that can handle all the other states don't bother accommodating Louisiana. Clerks of Court in most of the LA parishes made $60K to $70K per year (which was actually a pretty astronomical salary there) but they controlled budgets that could afford the $100K per month cost of the software. The owner of the company would wine and dine the Clerks and pay for their house renovations and driveway pavings etc. and vacations and whatnot, and meanwhile he raked in fucking enormous profits (64 parishes X $100K per month, with a team of about 5 programmers). Nobody batted an eye at this shit.

I wish humanity could move on from judging people based on their nationality and instead judge people based on their sellout music and apparently ruining Gwyneth Paltrow.

I'm a school bus driver and the other day my elementary school kids asked me who my celebrity crush was. I knew that Phoebe Cates wasn't going to work so I said Kimbra, which of course also didn't work.

On the other hand: Kimbra.

OK boomer

(/s)

My mom and dad got Long Term Care Insurance a long time ago. My dad passed away before he could collect on it, but my mom is currently getting around $13,000 a month from it and this goes up by 5% per year, so she can afford to live pretty much wherever she wants for the rest of her life. Naturally enough, insurance companies do not offer this kind of policy any more.

My mother owns a house and I'd be fucked if I inherited it. Just the property taxes, insurance and utility bills for it come to over $30K a year which is more than I even make (before income tax) as a school bus driver. Selling it would require a lot of repairs first which I couldn't afford. In theory you can sell the house for its book value less the cost of these repairs, but in my township you're legally required to fix some things before a sale can even be approved (e.g. replacement of the entire sewer line out to the street). I could maybe rent it, but typical rents here would barely cover the expenses even assuming the tenant doesn't trash the place.

“THE JACKPOT IS UP TO 30-MILLION NOW! YOU BETTER GET A TICKET! YA CAN’T WIN IF YA DON’T PLAY!”

I join in the lottery pools at work, not because I think we'll win, but because I can't bear to imagine the horror of having everybody at work win the fucking lottery but me.

I've had exactly one gambling experience in my life. I went with some friends to a casino in Louisiana and I tried a slot machine. I stuck my credit card in the slot, was debited $5, pushed the "lever" button, and won exactly bupkis. I don't know what the appeal is but I imagine it involves winning occasionally. I'm going to stick with my 0.000 batting average and be happy.

I went to Lowe's a couple of months ago and that night on Amazon I got recommendations for drill bits and cabinet door pulls. The weird thing was that I did buy some drill bits at Lowe's but I just looked at cabinet pulls there. I'm guessing my phone was linked to in-store footage and AI noted where in the store I stopped to look at stuff. As a kid I used to look forward to living in the future, now I kinda regret it.