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I'm thinking about ending my... (hexbear.net)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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TW for suicide, and drugs.

Spare me the usual replies, please. I’ve heard them all.

I’m going to drop Creamsicle off at a friend’s house today.

“Yay!”

Then I’m probably going to acquire fentanyl somehow, and forget that I ever existed.

I’ve considered writing a letter to my friend, the one I’m always talking about. Creamsicle was originally supposed to be a birthday present for them, but they didn’t want him. I’d love for him to go live with them, but I don’t want them to be sad. I think I just want them to forget I ever existed. I know they probably won’t be too sad but I don’t know. I wish I could say goodbye.

Every single fucking day sucks. I am in the same exact hole today, on March 22nd, 2024, as I was on March 22nd, 2023, and on March 22nd, 2022. The only difference is I just keep getting slightly worse every year. Each winter hurts more than the last. More people stop talking to me and I smile less and life becomes increasingly more stupid and meaningless.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Hey I was just wondering if sending you some money would help you at least materially? Is there some way I can send you some without it doxxing me?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

CashApp lets you use whatever name you want. So does Venmo.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Damn it, those aren't available to non-Americans.

If anyone knows a Venmo/CashApp alternative that Australians can use anonymously, let me know. There have been a lot of times where I've wanted to contribute to mutual aid posts here.