this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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OK I'll be the one to go against the grain in these comments. I am a nearly 40 year old man and I would bang a hot college girl in an instant. I can't help that.
Theres also a YAWNING FUCKING CHASM between "Yes, If I were single I would really like to have a woman almost half my age find me sexually attractive enough to fuck me" and going out of your way to try and make it happen.
Also, like none of those 35yo women ever went and flicked the bean after watching the 20yo who mows their lawn go shirtless in summer.
Oh for sure. I wouldn't want to be a creepy guy to a young person. But the other comments were all like "I'm not even attracted to young beautiful women"
Depends entirely on how old the person saying it is which is will vary wildly from commenter to commenter.
No because 18-year-olds are kids. I'm not even close to 40 and I think 18-year-olds are kids (especially from an emotional maturity perspective). 20s would be like the absolute youngest.
I'm in my 40s and I'm in a college town and I honestly can't tell whether I'm looking at a college student or a high school student half the time.
In terms of basic aesthetics, I can appreciate the beauty of an 18-year-old, but I can appreciate the beauty of a 5-year-old in an aesthetic sense. Sexually, they look way too young to me.
PC-pissing contest for 30-somethings. It's a trend.
I'm a guy and when I was 18 I got a lot of interest from women in their 40s. Sexual attraction is just natural.
Yeah, but it didn't start at 18 did it. A number of women hit on me when I was under 18 and no one would think anything of it. We are groomed into it starting with calling 6 year old boys handsome young men and he's a cute kid.
Lots and lots of people would think plenty about an older woman coming onto a minor.
Is it really grooming if it's just how everyone in society acts?
Yes.
"Grooming" to me always implied the actions of an individual, with the intent of generating a sexual relationship with that one person. It's got a level of intent that the lady at the grocery store calling me a "handsome young man" and then never seeing me again doesn't have.
It doesn't really matter what it is to you when it has a hard and established definition.
Nothing you say matters to me though, and thanks to solipsism, that's all that matters!
Ok. Feel better?
Well grooming doesn't have to be an individual, and it doesn't have to be sexual. Kids are groomed in school to go to college. The word means to train/prepare for. Training someone for something can be good thing or a bad thing. Or anything in between.
Sure, but usually in these types of conversations people use "grooming" in a much more specific (and negative) connotation
That's on you for attending those kinds of parties.
boooo boooo get outta here boooo
There's a lot you can help here, though.
Don't be a creep.
Don't lie to your partner about this.
Don't spin some weird sexist or misogynistic bs theories out of your attraction.
That's it. Doesn't seem too hard but you'd be surprised how many are struggling with these simple rules of decency and respect.
Did you mean FOR an instant?
Also yes.
Nobody should be judging any two adults about a consenting nonabusive relationship.
After all, women polish the pearl to only age appropriate book porn that has nothing to do with poorly narrated but critically succesful actual rape fantasies built on having no idea what consent means lol.
You can think a 30 year old and 18 year old shouldn't be dating or fucking all you want. But I'm pretty sure the old pricks and women scoffing at it are doing more virtue signalling than they are lol.
Don't want people fucking 18 year olds? Raise the age of consent.
The age of consent isn't the issue, it's the objectification of people that haven't even hit physical maturity yet.
Physical maturity is such a terrible thing to quantify lmfao.
And again, age of consent is ABSOLUTELY THE ISSUE IF YOU BELIEVE 18 YEAR OLDS ARENT SEXUALLY MATURE.
It's literally, not even metaphorically, the crux of the issue if you believe there's one.
It was a real eye opener to me when I started dating to find out just how many women would literally ask to be raped. I probably attract that type more than average because of my physical stature, but still it really creeped me out. Never took anyone up on it.
I don't think you can ask to be raped. I think the not getting permission part of it is the important bit.
What you're talking about is roleplay...
No shit. Role playing rape fantasies.
Yeah? How many are we talking about? I don't necessarily have a small body count and I've never had this happen to me.
Like I said, it's probably related to how I look and present myself. I guess I fit the bill for what people with such fantasies find to be sexy.
Uhhuh.
Consensual non-consent != rape.
Though personally, I find that shit a landmine just waiting to explode - that and frankly "Yes" is hotter to me than "No*". But more power to those able to navigate the boundaries successfully where everyone's happier and satisfied for it. If nothing else, master communicators.
Edit: For those who downvoted, seriously, I get it. But it's definitely a thing, and some people happily participate. I've met some - usually very nice folks (as are most people I've met involved in kink communities). I'll also underscore that this is very much NOT the norm - but still more common than people might think.
Decentish broad-strokes article here: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/consensual-non-consent/