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Yeah, I live in a small town, so I don't think I can find that.
I had a therapist once who I thought was going to help me, but then one day he suddenly went on a racist rant about MLK Day, unprompted. Then I had one who was pretty good, but eventually I just got discouraged. Just thinking about trying again gives me anxiety, and I'm literally a LGBT+ person with trauma lol
It’s so tough. I, too, have given up on getting better many times because so much seemed to be working against it. I’m far from ‘cured’ and dealing with the trauma will likely be a lifelong effort. But it has gotten better and I have found a kind of fragile happiness, at least in my better moments.
Thank you for asking about my experiences. It is nice to find some validation for a struggle that many are not equipped to even understand. I am sorry that you had to experience similar trauma. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could bond over something banal like the superbowl instead of our respective troubles caused by ignorance?
It would be nice! Do you mind me asking what you've done to find happiness? Probably the best thing a therapist ever suggested was making a list of people to call when I'm in crisis mode. I don't even discuss my problems, just calling and talking about anything helps.
Oh, it's a very long story and so personal, but I don't mind trying to express what has worked. I also was undiagnosed for ADHD until the age of 42. I had to take a series of psychiatric medications to heal up from the stress of being undiagnosed for so long and basically torturing myself to achieve in life, before I could even tolerate the typical stimulant treatments.
Once I got stronger, I could tolerate stimulants and it has been a god-send (irony intentional!). It didn't cure me at all, but it gave me more wherewithal to apply the coping skills I have worked so hard to learn. So the same old things that never worked very well before quite suddenly became more effective. I feel sometimes like I am having to grow up all over again, which isn't all bad because that means my life has more possibility now.
I too have to force myself to reach out, but the benefits are profound when I can actually open up with my trusted circle.
I know everyone's journey is different, but I have developed some faith in modern mental health care. The field is full of people that sincerely want to help. Yes, I had to do most if not all the work myself, but the support and concern of some highly skilled people helped me get better results from the work.
If you can't tell, I'm in a stage in life where I am 'coming out' about my own mental struggles. Hiding the pain has done me no favors, so I frankly don't care anymore about what judgement people might make of me.
Thank you for sharing. My husband was also diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD well into adulthood. Just the insight into what's caused so many of his personal struggles has helped immensely, I think.