For 3- I still think about a post I made a while ago where I mentioned giving players more creative input as a means of increasing engagement. The example I gave was when the players returned to the magic academy the wizard had graduated from, I asked the wizard player what the lighting situation was in the grand hall. Like if they had lots of mundane candles, or a big chandelier, or magic lights, or what. He was pretty into it.
One person in the thread responded that they would hate that. They want to be told a story and explore a world! Asking them to make out-of-character decisions like that just ruins the whole experience for them.
Completely alien to me. I always look at these as like writing a story, and I'm never "being" my character.