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You should absolutely cut off your shitty friends and family members (hexbear.net)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I feel there is very little we can do individually to change people's minds or turn them away from fascism, or even to get them to stop turning their own brains into soup, but you can still show them there are consequences to their actions.

Telling my own friends / relations what I think of them and cutting ties with them has done nothing to bring them back in line with normal human values, but at least I am not burdened with the guilt of my association, and maybe one day enough people will cut them off that the loneliness gets to them and they begin to re-evaluate their lives.

It is literally the least I can do. Any sadness I felt was heartbreak that they could be so shitty to begin with.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I do feel this. I've had long term friends just ghost me after a disagreement. It's painful to the point of traumatic.

That said, people I'm about to break up with a friend, family member, or partner, they have a fuck ton of warning it's gonna happen. It's a bit like a job, where people deserve escalated warnings before just getting their keycard locked out. I try to be very explicit too, like "X thing makes me not enjoy hanging out with you and I don't want to be your friend". And said friends and family always have some avenue for apologies, maybe we're not friends on Facebook but they know my email.

For instance, I've given my parents 7 years to apologise. They still have my email, which they only use for birthday wishes. (I've told them to stop). They're just far too self centred to care about feelings outside their own. I'm a happier, more grounded person for having zero hope with them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I try to be very explicit too, like "X thing makes me not enjoy hanging out with you and I don't want to be your friend". And said friends and family always have some avenue for apologies, maybe we're not friends on Facebook but they know my email.

yeah on its face this seems fair, you're at least giving some kind of explanation which i think is more than many would do. and also leaving yourself open to receiving an apology is more leeway than a lot of situations where there's ghosting/cutting off so it sounds like you're in a healthy place with this kind of stuff.