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What are some ways you've generally handled know-it-all nerds? The kind that gatekeep the concept of being highly intelligent? They've taken advantage of me all my life because I'm unconfident. (hexbear.net)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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CW sexual assault, physical assault Growing up, I've been repeatedly assaulted and harassed by know it all's. That's how upsettingly nerdy they were about gatekeeping the autonomy of thinking for myself. Because they wanted to violate the most intimate of boundaries, and not have me fight back. They wanted control and power over me in every way. To play pretend that they were all powerful and intelligent wizards.

I see a lot of communists on here saying things that might lead to them being stigmatized, and I want to be able to do that more. You guys shut down nerdiness. I've been conditioned to have controlling nerd voices in my head, and automatically let them convince me out of setting boundaries and speaking up for what I believe in. Now I'm my own controlling nerd, and I don't want to be. I want to walk the right path regardless of how stigmatized it may be.

How do you shut down nerds? Especially when their opinions are antihuman? If you don't care about piggypoopballs opinions, what are your reasons for not caring?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Example: "someone smart like you knows that education and psychology studies show that treating people like an id*ot alienates them, makes them less agreeable to your ideas and your person, and makes accomplishing shared goals that much more difficult. Are you trying to make things more difficult intentionally or are you trying to accomplish something else and if so could you explain why you think that might be helpful or useful?"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I'm a slow thinker and that length of text is hard to remember. The few times I speak from the heart, it's been conclusions about understandings I've been thinking about for years rooted in deeply personal experiences. Epiphanies I came up with on my own.

I guess I'll try to use what you said by letting it build into epiphanies. You do make points I vaguely thought about many times.

I'm glad to hear you chose saving yourself from being a full blown nerd. You sound like a nice and supportive person.