this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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askchapo
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cw: depression, self-harm thoughts.
was watching the philosphy tube live thing where she does the self-review and somebody asked "what would you tell you from five years ago?"
to which i immediately thought for myself:
it doesn't get better, it's not worth it. [redacted]I still believe it can get better but I don't know
previously i had major life changes to look forward to that came with changes to social and material conditions for no additional effort, but once you're out of school and therapy and medication fails over and over again, there's nowhere left to find hope.
it's probably not precisely true but i feel like care providers actually giving a shit is gatekept behind an attempt and i suffer enough without rolling the dice on making things much, much worse. sartre btfo.
true that. I'm into the double digits now for number of psych medications I've tried
everything sucks and I'm miserable and so is everyone else and I wish I had the energy to do fuckin anything besides work, sleep, and occasionally shitpost as a semblance of social interaction
no platitudes from me dawg, life is ass 🫡
edit: your username is kickass btw.