this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I'm the database architect, creating functional templates and a comprehensive system to manage all hell related data. Every day, I send all residents a huge excel file that they have to read and contribute to. It's important you have the right program on your computer so said excel file can pull data directly from your hard drive. To make this happen, you have to give me access to your email contact list. Here I have attached a handy 40 min video detailing how to exactly do this, now let's talk about pop and imap. Better yet, this weekend I've scheduled a 2 day workshop on email migration. Everyone in hell has to attend, but it's OK, I ordered a pizza. One pizza. Vegetarian tofu pizza. But before anyone can eat the pizza, we all have to talk about our feelings and write a poem about said feelings. Then we hug, do mandatory yoga, then talk some more about our feelings.
This slaps actually, tofu's cool
Thought about taking that out. No offense meant to tofu lovers. I accept you, friend.
Imagine making a database/excel sheet over all the personal hells. How do you systematize that shit? And every day it grows by thousands. Seems like the kinda thing that would be a hell in itself
Hell is other people’s spreadsheets