this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
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chapotraphouse

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i'm the skeleton with the funny voice who says "bone voyage!" to everyone who boards Charon's ferry

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm a middle level bureaucrat. Someones gotta keep the wheels of hell turning and make sure the correct forms are filled and filed.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm imagining you telling Ftumch The Flayer that they need to fill out proper requisition forms before they go flaying, and this poor devil that has existed since before the invention of the word "Byzantine" suddenly has to do all sorts of admin work before they can get on with their actual job. Hell got bought by private equity

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Look Ftumch, the consultants from level 7 have put a new system in place. You will not be flaying until you can provide these forms signed in triplicate and filed with the correct departments."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"But I need to flay 789377 more souls for me to get acknowledged as a greater devil! I don't have time for this"

"Actually Ftumch, and I'm sorry to tell you this, you actually need to flay 8788444 souls. You didn't fill out the forms properly for the last century. Of course you can decrease the number of souls you need to flay if you volunteer as a rhymer, you just need to fill out this formula in iambic pentameter."

"RAAAARGH"

"Also, you did accidentially file yourself as Ftumch The Layer. You will have to start doing something about that."