I'm only half joking when I say this could be the modern replacement. I've caught both myself and the S.O. using "no take only throw" in conversation, often about unreasonably demanding people.

That’s because it’s backwards. Should be “eat your cake and have it too”

Edit: While that preserves the form and is recognizable as the common saying, it makes the meaning clearer if phrased as “Eat your cake and still have it”.

Ted Kaczynski has entered the chat.

You cannot have a cake in your possession and also eat that cake. Once you eat it, it is gone.

When I was a kid, I remember asking my mom about this phrase because it made no sense to me. Why in the world would one even want a cake if they weren’t going to eat it? What is the point?! (I have always been particularly fond of cake — eating it, that is — who cares if it’s pretty if it tastes good?)

I was confused by this one too, but then I thought about it in the context of a wedding cake; you want to have it as a beautiful thing to show off to all of your guests, but you also want everyone to enjoy how good it tastes as a desert. You can't have both simultaneously, so you have to pick

Just desserts is another one.