Misogynistic trans guys keep showing up at our center? (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by kristina@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

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All of these guys tend to be younger, it seems to be a new trend cause we didn't have issues like this 10 years ago. They'll come in, talk only to other gay guys, and exclude women (incl trans women) from all conversations to the point it becomes very awkward. This has happened 3 times in the past 2 years or so. We had an event recently and we had a handful of trans people show up. I tried to talk to everyone to just say hi (I'm the organizer after all) and the guy just stared at me?? Then one of the sweetest trans ladies there talked to me about how she was trying to get contact details for people so we could, y'know, be a community, and the guy apparently told her that all of his chats and local groups for trans men were men only and that they had so many issues with trans women trying to make LGBT spaces all about them so they only let trans men in. She was just looking for people to hang out with! The lack of solidarity here was shocking to me.

Maybe it's some social media thing? Over compensation? Idfk. Shits getting weird.

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[-] BilduEnjoyer@hexbear.net 40 points 1 day ago

I can attest that as a trans guy I've experienced, and know trans men, who have experienced being iced out of spaces for being too masc. Most of the trans spaces I've been to are primarily trans femme (plus trans men, I GUESS). It's like you reach a certain point in transition and it's no longer "uwu cute baby boy" and then it's "ew yucky masc."

I'm mentioning this because this might explain their attitude. I get the frustration. I also grew up and stopped giving a shit and just try to hang out with my people.

These guys need to grow up and realize that it's not appropriate to go to a mixed space and refuse to talk to the other people there. It's one thing to have your boys club, it's another to be like "we're not talking to YOU, ladies" and deadass stare while standing in a space they are guests in. It's stupid and dare I say "cringe".

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yeah we don't have problems with mascs or anything it's a mixed space. A lot of the mascs (and to a lesser degree, some buff people of other presentations) help chaperone people that feel unsafe for whatever reason. It's great to have reliable people with some muscle around. If we were just for trans femmes or whatever the space wouldn't be as safe and as big as we would like imo.

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

These guys need to grow up and realize that it's not appropriate to go to a mixed space and refuse to talk to the other people there. It's one thing to have your boys club, it's another to be like "we're not talking to YOU, ladies" and deadass stare while standing in a space they are guests in. It's stupid and dare I say "cringe".

It's just typical passive aggressive bullshit that men do. If you have a problem hanging out with chicks, then don't hang out in spaces with chicks. There's plenty of places where dudes can be dudes surrounded by other dudes.

this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2026

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