Preservatives and high sodium is probably the better term(s), because that's what people usually mean when they say processed foods. Like have a butcher cut instead of Oscar Maier salami slice

I feel the same way when someone says a certain food is 'organic'... well, yeah, pretty much everything we eat is organic. Even the main ingredient in Roundup is organic.

I get the need to be able to market 'clean' food in a way to differentiate it from everything else, but using a term that is scientifically incorrect is poor marketing.

Imma remove the "toxins" through my feet with this sticker for whatever the fuck reason.

You're being overly literal. That you made it yourself with real ingredients is a good rule of thumb for not ultra-processed. You're unlikely to have partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, mono and diglycerides of fatty acids or high fructose corn syrup lying around, and you won't test your recipe repeatedly until humans want more of it than any of the competing products on the supermarket shelves.

Yeah, everything's a chemical, but that's not what people mean when they say there's chemicals in the food. They mean there are edible non-food ingredients whose only purpose is to cheaply make it last longer on the shelf or be more moreish or reduce costs.

There's a significant correlation between proportion of ultra-processed foods in diet and all-causes mortality. Don't pretend there isn't.