No matter what I do, it feels hopeless, I feel hopeless. I'm in poverty in the USA and I'm just trying to fucking stay alive. I have a therapist but I've seen her twice and haven't been able to get scheduled since, which was almost three months ago now. I just gave up. It feels insurmountable. I feel like the life I wanted was stolen from me by my family, my fellow citizens, my country.
I spend every day staring at a screen and talking to no one in real life except the family I caretake for. I do my best, but I bitterly resent them for what they put me through, how they made clear this fucking house we live in was more valuable to them than their own child.
I'll never forget the fear I had put in me when I was caught crossdressing, and just let it go until more than a decade later when I was almost thirty, and even then it took me years to wrestle with my own feelings.
I know Medicaid covers a lot, but I'm probably losing Medicaid this spring because my cancer isn't cancery enough or whatever. I've been waiting on even getting a first hearing for disability and it feels like it will never come and I scrape by on nothing.
I don't even have my own bed. How can I even realistically pursue anything? I can't even talk about how much it makes me want to kill myself without getting institutionalized. I feel like I may as well just die now because I'm wasting time, that no one will love me, that no one cares, that I'm just one more easily forgotten casualty of the American Empire that has been murdering with impunity for generations.
I'm sorry I'm crashing out. It just all feels so pointless and fruitless and like I may as well die as the ugly man that I am. I've been falling apart ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, and I'm so tired of being treated like I should just toughen up and get over it or something since "I'm a man" or what the fuck ever. I hate it I hate I hate it I hate it
Life is already horrible and having issues like that make it even harder.
IDK what to say, I'm also the same. In Canada, they don't cover anything for gender affirming stuff, they want us dead. All I can do is making others insecure proudly, because this is what they voted for (conservatives including "liberals").
Just survive, do whatever it takes girl, just survive.
We care about you. <3
Thank you for caring. It really is rough out here. I struggle being alone, and I spend so much time alone.
Almost everyone is lonely, we have to get used to it I guess.
Just find a job, work like a slave, daily routines, and repeat them all until you're dead.
This is called "life". Enjoy it.
Why do you think people stopped having kids? Life is shit for everyone, there is no meaning. Boring boring boring.
"Have kids, be happy!" was a CIA/Mossad propaganda, after people saw the big picture people stopped having kids.
Truth bomb