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this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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You are making a slippery slope argument because you're taking a situation involving schools respecting a preferred name and pronouns and turning it into an argument about a child killing themselves and the school hiding the warning signs from parents.
If you were really concerned about children self harming, you shouldn't be arguing that the state act as a snitch in a situation like this. Calling someone "he" instead of "her" or calling them by a name other than what's on their birth certificate by request isn't going to lead to physical or mental harm. Ratting a kid out to their bigoted parents when they've specifically asked you not to very likely will lead to physical and mental harm. These children aren't property of the parents and they should be given some agency over their own lives as human beings.
I think it's probably more analogous than you are painting it as. The trans community suffers elevated levels of suicide risk, and parents who are in the dark about what their child is going through are less equipped to get them the help they need if they need it. Parents of trans kids often have to get them emergency mental health services due to them being bullied or ostracized. If the parents are kept in the dark about it, they may not see the problem until it is too late.
And I agree that children aren't property, but they also aren't fully independent agents. Children need guidance. Children need to be raised by parents who love them and are involved in steering them to be a successful and active participant in society. Children should not be allowed to make every decision for themselves without question. They need to be required by an authority figure to eat their vegetables and brush their teeth.
They have agency certainly, but not unlimited agency, and we need to figure out what the left and right bounds of that agency are. And that will change as they age and get older, and will be different from child to child even. But who decides that? My gut is that it's the parents. I feel like every other option is unpalatable.
Your argument seems entirely disingenuous to me. Describe the situation where a student feels comfortable and confident enough to share this aspect of their life with their peers and teachers at school, but not at home with their parents. These parents are "loving and involved in their child's life" but somehow also in the dark about their child's identity and mental health. I don't see how you can meet all this criteria without a ton of mental gymnastics.
Should this be extended further into other hot button political issues? Should a school inform parents if their white child is hanging out with black or brown students? Should schools inform parents if their straight child is hanging out with LGBT students? Should they inform parents if children are expressing leftist or right wing viewpoints? Why or why not? What's the difference?
It's almost as if there was a reason that this student didn't want their parents to know.