What are some lesser known developmental milestones no one really ever talks about? (programming.dev)

submitted 14 hours ago by danhab99@programming.dev to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I'm not really in a good place right now or I guess I haven't been for a few years.

I've just been reflecting today on all the things that I haven't been doing and wondering if some specific things would have happened in my past to me maybe I would have been able to do things differently.. like I'm reflecting on my friends and how they develop their sense of self-worth and identity I'm just realizing so many things just didn't really ever happen to me and I'm just wondering what those things could possibly have been.

Like for example I have absolutely no doubt that I'm a great programmer and I deserve all of the things I have in my life because of it. I've work hard and created cool things and gotten jobs and been promoted so I have absolutely no doubt in my professional abilities.

And like I know I'm attractive cuz I'm tall and young and I look good and I take care of myself.. but no one's ever told me that.. like in the way that my friends have been told. Like in the way that would cause a friend to come up to me and ask for emotional advice about their relationship and they tell me their partner finds them attractive but they don't think they're attractive, I've never gotten to that.

That's the kind of I guess niche developmental milestones or mile-pebbles that are healthy to go through that I'm asking about.

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[-] thethrilloftime69@feddit.online 5 points 10 hours ago

I feel this completely BUT I just wanted to add that there is a component of delusion that can get ignored when you don't respond to any external feedback. Just because I think something about myself, doesn't make it true. And it doesn't make it true every single time. I'm a doctor, and I care about my patients and I try to go out of my way to make sure they get the things they need. But at the same time, I'm not perfect and I definitely have days when I'm only capable of the bare minimum. If someone catches me on those days, they might call me lazy. I'm not lazy, but for that person on that day, maybe I was. I just have to accept that is what someone's experience of me is, and try to do better as much as I am capable.

[-] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

I respect all people who become doctors. My uncle was a doctor. It takes a special type of person to make it that far in life.

this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2026

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