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this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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I've heard about this since old people have been able to avoid technology until phones and tablets, and kids have been brought up with phones, tablets and consoles. There was only one window of people who grew up 'going on the computer'. My dad took some computer courses back in the DOS days but I wasn't really taught anything through school or any official body. It was really more from needing to troubleshoot things on the computer all the time and seeing the transition from dial-up to broadband when the internet became more accessible.
I want to mitigate this with my kids by restricting their phone time and giving them the oldest functioning Linux computer I can with relatively few restrictions. I have this dual core ultrabook with 4gb RAM from 2012 that still works with Mint on it now. They can play with that, figure out how to pirate games and get them running with WINE and whatever else on there.
I feel my issue will be other parents that are either boomer-style tech illiterate or just not as interested. They'll just get their kids Switches and tablets, then that's what my kids will want to play with their friends. Instead of learning how to host my own Luanti server for my kids and their friends, they'll want a tablet to go on Roblox or a Switch for Fortnite.
I think something that has largely been forgotten in the modern day but is 100% true is that one of the biggest parts of being a good parent is not giving your kids all the things they want. It's like eating vegetables instead of candy. You can have a little candy if you want sure, but you need to be mostly eating healthy. Even if you hate it. Kids are blank slates. You as the parent are not just telling them what to do you are literally engraining habits in them that will follow them into adulthood. If you teach them good habits and they grow into healthy adults they might not even realize what a favor you did for them, but their lives will certainly be better for it.
I agree with you somewhat, but i gotta say most of my peers who grew up pre smartphones/tablets being ubiquitous (late 2000s) with parents that were strict around screen time etc. “for their own good” didn’t really end up being thankful for the great habits that reinforced. Most just became resentful that they were excluded from partaking in their favorite activities with their friends (i.e. hanging out with irl friends in runescape or whatever you did in 2009)
Where do you disagree? Was this thing I said not directly related to the concern you mentioned?
I’m sorry if you felt that I misunderstood your point. It was not my intention to do a bad-faith reading, my apologies if I inadvertently did.
I think I was more trying to express my gut reaction to what I perceived as a similar line of reasoning to what I grew up hearing from parents (mine were cool but others around me) of “you can play video games for an hour on weekends as a treat but otherwise you have to be outside and play sports whether you want to or not”. These types of arguments never went over well with any of my friends, and usually just resulted in resentment and them finding ways to sneak away and be on the computer at my house or whatever.
I hope that clarifies my feelings I was trying to express!
I mean i understood what you were saying. I just didn't understand where you were disagreeing. I still don't really think we disagree on anything? Kids rebel. Kids get mad at their parents. It is what it is. What I was pointing to in my statement I quoted was that even if they don't like it you are doing them a favor. Look at your friends for example. They wanted to be on the computer at home. Alone in their bedroom. Instead they were forced to get out of the house, go to your house, interact with a friend in person, and play video games there. This develops social skills. They had to get up and move around. They got outside. It's incalcuably more beneficial than if they'd been allowed to sit at home and play video games all day. And the cost is what? They were mad at their parents? Is that really such a bad thing? If your kids are never mad at you then imo your not doing your job.
What they wanted to do wasn’t “be alone in their bedroom”, it was “partake in the common social activity their peers are engaged in” (i.e hanging out online together). The part where they snuck away to my (or whatever) place happened rarely. A lot of the time they were just idk bored I suppose.
You could argue that hanging out online is worthless and a waste of time or whatever and in that case we’re both hypocrites for chatting away here.
I think it’s a reductive and bordering on some flavor of dehumanizing (kids are people with internality too) to look at the resentment people can feel towards their parents for this kind of thing (some even into adulthood mind you since it’s part of a larger parenting pattern) and go “ah well kids get upset over silly things they are too naive and stupid to be thankful for all the time”
Sorry if I’m putting words in your mouth, it is not my intent at all, and I’m trying not to characterize you stance as some boomer “pain builds character” thing because I don’t believe that’s where you’re coming from. It’s just that these lines of reasoning can stray dangerously close to that which doesn’t sit well with me.
Well that kind of comes down to like is the parent just denying them something or are they saying, "Don't do this thing, do this instead" Like for example I wouldn't want my kids spending a lot of time online. I'd let them do stuff online in moderation, I do it myself, but like the always online and connected norm of the day is very unhealthy imo. But I'd also so things like encourage them to sign up for martial arts classes and take them there or take them to do some other random in person thing they want to do with their friends. And when at home and the computers are all turned off I'd have other things for them to do too. I guess maybe I'm getting a bit old but I didn't even have a computer until I was 12 or so and I found ways to entertain myself just fine without an iPad. Books, toys, board games, pets to play with, a swing in the back yard, basketball hoop in the driveway, etc.
The idea that you are either online as much as you want or bored is a false dichotomy imo. The internet is imo extremely unhealthy to be on all the time. In the time between my last reply to you and now I was in my backyard digging up onions and went to the grocery store. Moderation is everything, but it is designed to be addictive. So you need to enforce strict limits with children to prevent them falling victim to addictive algorithms. That's not building character through pain. It's protecting your children.
Yeah; some parents have a physically / emotionally corporal approach to this, and it has detrimental effects.
That's what I'm thinking. They can have a computer they can talk to their friends on, but it won't be an ipad. I might even book them into typing and excel courses when they're older. They'll hate it, but you never actually get taught to do any of the basic things you do in the workplace. Like how every business uses excel but it's never formally taught anywhere. As far as I'm concerned all highschool mathematics should be done in spreadsheets instead of on scientific calculators.
I'd say the best way to do it is make it an interactive and exciting event. Buy them a nice laptop (maybe a framework build it yourself kit so they can put it together) and then sit down with them and watch some videos on different linux distros. Look at how things can be customized. Then let them pick a distro to install on it. Let them do the work while you guide them. The excitment of having their own computer will outweigh the work of having to do all that and they'll learn during the process. And using a linux machine will be a constant learning experience for them too.