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this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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And what is he going to do with all of those "diversion" pizzas?
Seems like that could be a good way to feed the hungry in DC: order a large and semirandom number of pizzas to the Pentagon every night, then distribute them to homeless shelters; on nights when you're planning or executing ops, just add to the order enough for your operation and pull them off of the pile before you redirect the rest to the shelters.
But the party of "lol your poor git gud" wouldn't dream of such a thing. More likely they'll toss them in the dumpster.
There was a tmnt toy back in the day that had a pizza cannon (I think it was the turtle van). I think tech might have caught up to that point by now to do it in real life.
Americans shouldn't starve in such a wealthy nation, but there's just not enough money here. Do not. Touch. The ~~defense~~ war budget. Such a shame, homeless veterans and all that
Loved the joke, and it gives me an idea that might actually make this work: rather than sending it to a random homeless shelter every day, send it to a veteran's shelter.
That would do nothing to block the alleged information leak. You'd simply count the number of pizzas reaching homeless shelters instead, and if there's a lower than normal amount, you know we're gonna invade Iran. I mean, know it even harder.
It's not to track via homeless shelters, the joke is that he's willing to waste food as Americans face food concerns.
I know. And the joke is that it wouldn't work for other reasons.
If you pull some random amount off the stack every day and store it to pass along on the next day, and build up a rolling reserve before pulling from that reserve for invasion day, you could hide that tell pretty effectively.
This is precisely how it should be done and how it would never be done because of their abject incompetence, the absurdity of the whole idea aside. :)