Oh "why do good girls like bad guys" is one of those questions of the ages. It exists for many reasons, but the short list is:

• there's a fine line between confidence and assholery solution: may you have the strength to change the things you can, the patience to endure the things you can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. Once you trust your judgment in such things, act confidently on them, or at least try to look it.

• there's a bunch of emotions that are neurochemically identical and that can often be misattributed as each other and "scared" and "horny" share most of the same neurotransmitters. Solution: go see a scary movie, go to a rollercoaster park, or do a physical activity together that involves cardio.

• daddy issues and other psychosocial toxicity that you probably don't want anything to do with anyway. Solution: don't put your dick in (or your vagina on) crazy.

Men are animals. Women are also animals. They usually get along better overall when they're both trying to be mindful of that, both for their own sake and that of the other person.

Extreme insecurity is a terrifying thing, so withholding and abusing as a form of control to distance yourself from the parts of yourself that are insecure is the “solution.” Then they stay in social spaces where it’s standard practice to reinforce this nonsense and bob’s your uncle, you’ve got an incel.

Figuring out how to be comfortable around people in a way that doesn’t isolate you is a simple idea to vocalize, but a pretty massive undertaking.

I think the change happened more quickly because of parasocial relationships, aka someone throwing tons of money and attention at a streamer/OF model and expecting reciprocated feelings.