"Interpersonal Systemic Shame makes it easy to see people's laziness, sloppiness, or apathy as the source of the problem rather than a consequence of repeated structural failures. Interpersonal Systemic Shame often involves blaming and shaming people who share identities or experiences with us, because they reflect the qualities we've been conditioned to hate in ourselves."
- Unlearning Shame, Devon Price, PhD
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Is it normal to not feel equipped for adult life whatsoever?
I’m putting so much shit off. Calling my college because my Authenticator doesn’t work whatsoever so I haven’t been able to sign in to any college accounts for a month and only have 12 days to sign up for classes, calling my college because I’m being charged 1.4k despite having fafsa, I have no passions at all and no idea wtf I want to do even though I’m 21, have 0 motivation or energy at all times and nothing helps, constantly feel like my head is full of cotton balls, sleep like shit, have sinus problems, tired all the time, don’t have any energy to make plans to move even though I despise my hometown with a passion
I just feel like a lazy failure. Why tf was I born I hate this world so much lol. I did not ask for this
Do you have a depression? It’s normal to not feel equipped for adult life but it sounds like you’re struggling much more than just that. Laziness isn’t real, depression is, and it’s a monster to deal with 🫂
Yeah, I feel like I’ve been depressed my whole life. I still manage to work and go to college and get things done mostly on time but I never feel like doing much, pretty much have no hobbies because my energy is so low. I keep trying different things to improve and hope I feel better as I improve my habits. Stropped smoking mj and trying to eat and hydrate more, I need to start some kind of exercise and get out more
It sounds like you’re doing a lot of good things so I see no reason to be so negative about yourself. I was depressed for as long as I could remember as well and in my 20s I mostly recovered to the point where I now only occasionally have depressive episodes. I wish the same (or better) for you as well
Love waking up at 5 am for no reason and immediately stressing and feeling bad about myself lol.
yeah it is. so's feeling like you should already know what you wanna do and feeling like you're falling behind or that you are "already" 21.
let's see if my old ass can articulate this in a non trite way?
the best, most relaxing thing you can learn about those confident happy older people around you —and you will only believe me after a couple decades seeing it for yourself—
is that nearly all of us are flying by the seat of our pants, all of the time, every fucking day. it works.
we're faking it baby! like... all of us!
see that 60yo? bet ya a million bucks they were a 21 yo workin a crap job, getting along just doing what they can. stack a few days up like that? boom one morning they looked at the mirror n 40 years had passed lol.
it's really not any more complicated than that. i swear, youre not missing anything. youre right where you need to be.
i do remember that feeling, being 21... and vaguely i remember some old fart telling me some variation of this screed and i didn't believe them. but i get what they mean now.