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this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2025
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askchapo
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Are you a kid or an adult? What is the setting?
Adult. A shitty roommate moved out.
~~TW: SI attempt(no method mentioned), SA~~ I tried to attempt SI. Someone made ex roommate hide my method of choice in her room to keep it away from me. Less than an hour later, she came out and the first thing she said was "You're almost X-years old, and you're acting like THIS?"
She also heard me repeatedly sob about having been SA'd.
She later told us that she can hear everything we say when her door is closed. (After she moved out we found out even if you yell at the top of your lungs, you can't hear the words from ex roomates old room unless you press your ear to the door.) She later said to my boyfriend in front of me "Mike Tyson is a removed and I like him." Adding since he admitted to rping she was fine with the fact he's aremoved*." She was always giving edgy offensive takes.
That was in response to us loudly talking for a month about how disgusting it is that she's a big fan of a Nazi even while her romantic partner Jewish. After coming out to say she chose to stop listening to the Nazi(without any apologizing) she switched right to her love for Mike Tyson.
Months later a pigeon landed close to our windows and coo'd. When we later told her about it, her first response was gloating about Mike Tyson and how much she loves him for keeping pigeons.
Thank God they're gone. I think just getting a breather is a good next step, let yourself decompress and see how you feel 2-3 weeks from now
They've been gone for years. I'm just starting to feel my grief about the hurt. I only just realized anger only makes me relive them being here so I'm trying to leave that in my past amd work on my grief.
That sounds terrible! Glad they're gone. When I met my wife, she had shitty roommates and one would pick on me because she was apparently mad that I was "taking away" her friend that she used as an emotional crutch or something.
I wouldn't say I felt bullied though. We kept being friends with her after we all moved out of that situation. She eventually got a maga boyfriend and that's when we cut her off.
Anyway, it sounds like you're already on the right track with choosing self love over anger though. I spent a lot of time being angry when I was younger and it gets you nowhere.
Here's my advice, and I know this is easier said than done a lot of the times. I also don't know your life so I don't know if this is even good advice: I would find a way to make it work financially with just you and your boyfriend and get a place alone together. My wife and I moved in together after a few months and we told ourselves that we would do whatever it takes to not have roommates. I would love off rice and beans. We agreed we would cut out entertainment and treats if that's what it took. We bought a cheap camper and lived in that instead of having roommates.
I feel like it made us stronger as a couple and we grew together as people who cohabitate.
Yes, it was hard and there were plenty of times where I hated it. It ended up paying off in the long run because we were able to save up enough money to get our shit together and get a house. That's kind of a different story. We weren't able to save up 20% for a down payment or anything. We took a home buying class that taught us about a certain kind of loan that helped us get here.
Anyway, hope you can decompress. If you can't go this route, just know that not everyone is that shitty of a roommate. On the flip side, ive had a lot of friends who were good friends to me but we're terrible roommates. It's a total crap shoot unless you really know the person.
Thank you. I appreciate the validation.