this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
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Really don't comment on people's appearance unless its positive (and not positive in the sense of "I'm helping them!", like genuine... idk), and even then never with strangers.
I saw a guy with a cool mohawk the other day and I said "nice hair" and he looked like he thought I was insulting him.
Unfortunately the ironic compliment has destroyed a generation of people's ability to take any compliments
Which is why i always respond to compliments with "Thanks, it has pockets!"
The Cargo Mohawk
The 90s are so back
Only comments I ever make on people's appearance are if they've clearly put thought and effort into something about their outfit and it may brighten their day to hear those choices validated. And it's gotta be something innocuous that can't come off as sexualizing them like, "love those spider earrings" or "the birds on that dress are great". Basically, validating the choices and efforts someone's made about their outfit, never anything about their actual body because 1. that's very invasive and unwanted and 2. there is only a very small degree to which people have any control over their bodies' appearances.
It's weird but I've gotten compliments from people, mostly women, on my body, out of nowhere, and it's just come across as creepy. It would have been much appreciated if we were together or had some established relationship but these are complete strangers commenting on how nice my eyes or arms or facial structure is and I'm just like "get away get away get away"
But someone commenting that they like my death to fascism shirt, or some band shirt? That's totally fine.
I think when it comes to critical comments the "can it be fixed in 10 seconds" rule is great.
Someone has something on their face? Tell them they can fix it.
They look tired? They can't help that shut up.
I think a big part is trust of the person saying it. Plenty of people have appreciated it when I've notified them of a make-up gaff (that they were previously unaware of). (also I usually look slightly concerned for them)
I agree, some people seem to think that everyone has the same idea of what looks good.