this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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I think I've had like two dates from in-person meets, and if I put effort (without paying) into it I can get like 1-3 dates a week on the apps. I'm not a model or other outlier.
I live in an urban area and put effort into writing messages. The bar for men is really low.
All of that said, fuck the capitalist hellscape.
Quality over quantity, bruv.
I don't think that's really applicable here.
Every date is a roll of the dice and you're hoping for that Yahtzee. Or at least a four of a kind. If you're making four rolls a week you're probably going to find it faster than one a month.
You're also don't have unlimited time. You probably don't want to find your first big love when you're 70, when you could instead find one at 30.
And to be clear, I wouldn't recommend going on a date with just anyone with a pulse. Check your deal breakers and shared interests first.
Of course, you could do app-dates and from-real-life dates at the same time.
This also assumes you, like me, have boundless energy for dates. I know people that are exhausted just leaving their house once.
This is so weird to me. I've only ever dated people I was friends with first.
When I was younger I sometimes tried to go out with people I was friends with first. The rejections were worse. I'd still have to see her all the time at social events.
There was also a lot more "oh! She's cool! Shit. She's seeing someone. And doesn't date men."
The apps let you filter for a lot of stuff right up front. Don't have to waste time pining after people that aren't available.
Someone from the app says no or doesn't click? Back into the aether they go, never to bother me again.
To each their own, if it's working for you, but there are a lot of things dating apps can do better. Capitalism just shits up the place, as usual.