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A couple IRL trans people I know are convinced that I'm trans and it's adorable (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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God if this happened 15 years ago I'd be super upset and defensive. I try to apply the Hexbear Code of Conduct in the real world, so I'm probably above average for cis men for being decent to trans people (but still there's a lot of space to grow!). I've always failed miserably at being a normal cis guy, I'm shit at sports, I don't do tough guy attitude well, and I'm pretty kind and emotional. I've also taken advantage of the recent explosion of gender fluidity recently to update my style a bit: there are more pinks and pastel colours in my wardrobe than their used to be.

I forgot to mention, my voice has a bit of a "gay twang", as friends have told me. Thankfully it's never bothered me, but I get asked if I'm gay a lot.

So maybe it's partly my fault, but a couple of the younger trans people in my life are convinced that I'm a trans woman. I think it's sweet, they've let me into their secret club. They often reassure me that I'm a woman if I want and that's OK.

My only real fear is that I'll waste their time or their good intentions. They seem really motivated to help me socially transition, but I can't see going anywhere past a cis dude that sometimes wears cute shirts.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

LOL @ the comments. You do you, OP. I think the egg-jacketing people do is a bit counterproductive. I know trans men who still like to present as high femme for fun. And of course, gay cis men have a lot more leeway with gender presentation than straight-presenting men. so when people are sure that a dude is an egg, it can actually promote gender essentialism.

Just remember: it doesn't make you less of a man if you want to take estrogen for funsies ;)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I think there's really two sides to the "egg" culture. On the one hand, the culture can sometimes lead to essentializing certain gender presentations as belonging to one gender or another, which is decidedly a bad thing; on the other hand, the egg culture must be seen in context as a form of inverting the way cis people treat trans people, which cis allies knowing their privilege must be able to weather.

Ultimately, though, for me calling someone an egg has really nothing to do with the gender presentation itself so much as how the person in question relates to it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

For me it’s more the act of purposefully going on the internet and making a post about it.

A guy dressing kind of fem or andro and getting mistaken for a girl or something isn’t necessarily gonna give me egg vibes, but if you go on the internet and make a post like “omg isn’t it soo weird how this happened.” I am

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago

For me it’s more the act of purposefully going on the internet and making a post about it.

I think I entertained a few dozen people here, and the post had it's intended purpose.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, that's really what I was trying to get at.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I appreciate it. I made this post with the expectation that I'd be dunked on a bit. If people are enjoying themselves, that's cool. Thankfully I've reached the stage of my life that it doesn't bother me what people think about my gender. God forbid these convos happened when I was 14.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago

If anyone is dunking on you for this post or being anything other then infinitely supportive of your gender journey they should not only be banned from Hexbear but also the earth