this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2025
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God if this happened 15 years ago I'd be super upset and defensive. I try to apply the Hexbear Code of Conduct in the real world, so I'm probably above average for cis men for being decent to trans people (but still there's a lot of space to grow!). I've always failed miserably at being a normal cis guy, I'm shit at sports, I don't do tough guy attitude well, and I'm pretty kind and emotional. I've also taken advantage of the recent explosion of gender fluidity recently to update my style a bit: there are more pinks and pastel colours in my wardrobe than their used to be.

I forgot to mention, my voice has a bit of a "gay twang", as friends have told me. Thankfully it's never bothered me, but I get asked if I'm gay a lot.

So maybe it's partly my fault, but a couple of the younger trans people in my life are convinced that I'm a trans woman. I think it's sweet, they've let me into their secret club. They often reassure me that I'm a woman if I want and that's OK.

My only real fear is that I'll waste their time or their good intentions. They seem really motivated to help me socially transition, but I can't see going anywhere past a cis dude that sometimes wears cute shirts.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I think there's really two sides to the "egg" culture. On the one hand, the culture can sometimes lead to essentializing certain gender presentations as belonging to one gender or another, which is decidedly a bad thing; on the other hand, the egg culture must be seen in context as a form of inverting the way cis people treat trans people, which cis allies knowing their privilege must be able to weather.

Ultimately, though, for me calling someone an egg has really nothing to do with the gender presentation itself so much as how the person in question relates to it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

For me it’s more the act of purposefully going on the internet and making a post about it.

A guy dressing kind of fem or andro and getting mistaken for a girl or something isn’t necessarily gonna give me egg vibes, but if you go on the internet and make a post like “omg isn’t it soo weird how this happened.” I am

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago

For me it’s more the act of purposefully going on the internet and making a post about it.

I think I entertained a few dozen people here, and the post had it's intended purpose.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

Yeah, that's really what I was trying to get at.