this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
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Funny

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 days ago (7 children)

I don't think dwarves are known for their food in any setting, only their alcoholic drinks

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Dwarf bread is rock-hard (and indeed contains various rocks such as gravel), never goes stale, and is terribly sustaining. A traveller can go for miles, just knowing there's dwarf bread in their pack. A traveller can think of just about anything to eat rather than dwarf bread, including their own foot.
Various forms of dwarf bread can be used as weapons, e.g. battle muffins and drop scones.
Proper dwarf bread has to be not just baked, but forged and dropped in rivers and dried out, and sat on and left, and looked at every day and then put away again. For preference, its use as a cat's litter box is also recommended.
Dwarfs generally devour it with their eyes, because even dwarfs have trouble with devouring it any other way.

(from various Discworld novels)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

Terry Pratchett was the best :)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Damn, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near when he's serving breakfast.
That drawing is absolutely awesome, thank you for that!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Paul Kidby, by far the best Discworld illustrator! Pratchett said the characters look the way he imagined them 90% of the time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

Discworld dwarves are something else.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Wasn't original beer more of a grain soup that lasted longer? I'd imagine drawven alcohol to be basically a protein shake in a way

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

Honey and butter mead. The gods' nectar.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A guinness a day, keeps the doctor away..?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

A cider a day keeps the doctor away

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I'm not aware of any "dwarves make good food" tropes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Dwarves are not small in the first place anyway. Small races are below 1,20m tall. Dwarves are around 1,30-1,50m tall. They are short, but not small.
In comparison, humans are only 10-30cm taller on average with their 1,60-1,80m heights.

They may appear smaller because they are stockier and wider. So unless you see them next to a human, you won't realize they are only about a head or so sorter.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

You're probably right. I've never seen them next to a human before.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

"You're the best, Lloyd!"