askchapo

I can never pin down an answer that really feels right (guess I'm not a furry huh smuglord emoji) but most of the time I'd have to go with the mighty wombat.

You basically get to be a mini herbivore killdozer. Wombats are known to share their burrows with some of their few natural threats, venomous snakes, as well as other animals seeking shelter during raging bushfires. Its like everyone just declares detente during the disaster and the magnificent wombat is able to provide safe harbor until the threat passes. If anyone steps out of line the wombat will crush them against the side of the burrow with its burly body.

I think of them as like little hippos, with less natural aggression and defensiveness, more emotional intelligence etc. They seem to get more bitter and surly as they age (relatable) but baby wombats are curious and playful rough and tumble creatures (also relatable.) The only real threat to wombats are humans, and that would suit me just fine, they're my biggest threat too.

The wombat is perhaps one of nature's gentler tank~~ie~~s.

Also they poop cubes that can stack, so that would have a lot of entertainment potential as an inveterate shitposter.

Other contenders would be: big fucken hawk because flying would be awesome and I could take on drones for sport, or literally return to monke so I could swing through trees (except monkeys seem to become like, weird gooners or violently tribal, so I dunno.)

If I can be a crypto-zoological creature I would of course have to become the type of Sasquatch that can traverse time, space and multiverses.